Sollux: Yeah, I looked both ways before crossing the street!
Sollux: I looked both gorgeous and radiant!
Sollux: Too bad I got hit by that car.

Francis: I read that with every degree of temperature rise, violence increases by 20%.
Wiley: Fight crime by reducing Earth's temperature to zero Kelvin.
Galaxian: Time stops at zero Kelvin.
Wiley: CRIME stops at zero Kelvin.

Wiley: If no one will GIVE me a tragic backstory, I will create my own!!
Narrator: ...put the knife down.

Apollo: I have a box. We are going to put everything we love into the box.
Alma: Can I put Echo into the box?
Apollo: No.
Alma: Can I put Galaxian into the box?
Apollo: No.
Alma: Can I put Francis and Ka--
Apollo: WE ARE NOT PUTTING ANYONE INTO THE BOX.

Malaika: Wiley, don't talk out loud, you lower the I.Q. of the entire school.

Rai: They send in two turkeys. The most photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a life at a children's zoo. The runner-up gets eaten.
Wiley: If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.

Hitan: What do you guys want for Christmas?
Rai: I dunno, financial security?
Alma: I don't know. A sense of purpose maybe?
Yvonne: A nap would be nice

Wiley: When crows remember who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "pretty cool", but when I do it it's "petty" and "you need to move on"
 

Galaxian: Hey guys, how's the bonding going?
Sunny: You sicken me.
Sollux: You're the worst!!
Sunny: I hope you go bald.
Sollux: I hope you disappear!
Sunny: I hope Hot Topic goes bankrupt!
Sollux: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Rai: Silence just said they "want to do something nice for" me. 
Francis: (*sighs*) I'll go warn the others.

Calix: Okay, kids, we're going to be working with volatile chemicals today. Except for you, Wiley, since the school board has rated you a class four maniac.
 

Malaika: I thought Wiley reached his stupidity quota for today.
Rai: Pfft, no, it's too early.

Wiley: The worst thing about parallel parking is the witness
Rai: No witnesses if you’re bad enough at parallel parking

*texting*
Raez: CHICKEN
Wiley: Bgawk
Raez: I’ve never seen that typed
Raez: And frankly I’m upset that you did that

Wiley: *swirls chocolate milk in a wine glass* I’m just over it, you know?

Wiley: Mum asked “if your friends jumped off a cliff would you?” Mum I’m the one with the idea, you raised a leader, not a follower

Wiley: I remember the first time I asked my mom to sign something for me in high school
Wiley: She shook her head and said, "If I sign this, you're going to have to learn how to forge your signature. If you sign it from the start, you'll be able to sign whatever you want and no one will know."

Well she obviously played in part of constructing what we know as Wiley vibes

-Galaxian-

Malaika: "This was an 100% successful trip!"

Rai: "We lost Wiley."

Malaika: "This was an 100% successful trip!"

Class: *on a bus for a field trip*

Wiley, loudly: "Did you know that even with seatbelts people die all the time in car crashes? I thought that was interesting."

Everyone,  now very uncomfortable:

Silence: "Imagine Shakespeare quotes but, like, add bruh at the end of them!"

Wiley: What is done is done, bruh."

Silence: "Now is the winter of our discontent, bruh."

Wiley: "To be, or to not be, bruh."

Silence: "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo! Deny thy father and refuse they name, bruh!"

Alma, having a stroke:

(Alma is TREMBLING in FEAR)

Sollux: My intelligence has doubled after I started attending HPA!
Sunny: Of course. 2 x 0 = 0

Wiley, jumping onto a table: Whomst’d’ve consumed my ice juice?
Silence, t-posing on a chair: It is I who hath consumed thy O C E A N S A U C E

Wiley: You could answer almost anything with “not since the accident”.
Rai: Actually, you can’t.
Wiley: Not since the accident.

(Maybe they picked the lines up from the movies they've been in. Tbh that probably implies a really good memory, as they wouldn't be able to read the script)

Bruh HC that HPA!Alma goes through a break-up because his girlfriend cheated on him and for the next whole week he is constantly listening to "Burn" from Hamilton and whenever someone talks to him he sobs about romance and his friends have to buy new eyeliner for him because he kept crying so much and reapplying eyeliner that he ran out of eyeliner and cried even more 

Also during that time someone walks into the empty classroom he's moping in because "Burn" is blaring very loudly and Alma can be heard singing along with it so emotionally that people actually start getting worried for his sanity and all they see is him laying on his back, staring at the ceiling with multiple speakers around him blaring the music, eyeliner going down his face dramatically as he is singing his heart out lol 


 

b r u h

Calix: If you have any questions, just ask.
Silence: If a bear and a dragon had a fight, who would win?
Calix: 
Calix: If you have any relevant questions, just ask.
Wiley: No, I think this merits discussion.

Malaika: I am a moderate, peaceful, and godly person.
Rai: You threw a chair at Wiley three minutes ago.
Malaika: Yes. It was a moderate, peaceful, and godly compromise from the table I was originally planning to throw at that bastard.