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Me reading something I wrote specifically to bring myself pain:
-Galaxian-
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-Galaxian-HAHA WE HAVE TO BEAT UP HEKTOR AGAIN, WHAT IS UP WITH F/GO STORY
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-Galaxian-Someone has gotta run a statistical analysis on how many times the story makes us beat up Hektor for no reason
I've counted at least 5 times I've had to beat him up, including in random event farming quests, Okeanos (which is technically his one story pass; every Servant someone likes has to show up in main story and be an enemy, everyone knows this), that Amazon event, at least two CQs, and now this one
Someone give the guy a break xD no wonder he can't quit smoking
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To be honest it's probably good that I don't have any RL friends who I can talk about writing and roleplaying with, 'cause I already sound deranged enough.
Imagine something like this--
Friend: So what's your favorite AU for your characters
Me: Oh it's called F/DA
Friend: Cool, what's it about
Me: Fourteen people try to win a cup through incredible violence
Friend:
Me: but I only headcanon about philosophical components and pretend the basic premise doesn't exist
I love HPA but does it make me think about life like F/DA does? It does not, unfortunately probably because I keep headcanoning about everything not related to the general school premise over there too
-Galaxian-
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GalaxianExplosion wrote:
-Galaxian-HAHA WE HAVE TO BEAT UP HEKTOR AGAIN, WHAT IS UP WITH F/GO STORY
END MY MISERY. WHY DOES THE HANDS OF FATE ONLY LEAD ME TO VIOLENCE TOWARDS MY MOST BELOVED? TOWARDS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN?
I am personally going to fight the Fate Company
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-Galaxian-Fate teaches us that strife and betrayal come hand-in-hand, and that one day we will have to fight the people we most love
Before that happens we can gettem though. Gettem Echo
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The mental image of Oblivion driving a golf cart at unsafe speeds and yoinking Akuma off the top is hilarious, too bad I can't draw [Oblivion but also in general]
-Galaxian-
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Meanwhile the image of a golf hole filled with eyeballs is legitimately terrifying
-Galaxian-
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A grudge I have against writing specifically is that I am literally never satisfied when I finish writing anything that isn't just a few notes (and by "a few" that just depends on inspiration, like for no inspiration "a few" is like 1-5 while with inspiration it's something like 15 pages of random rambling). I bet if one day I could finish writing a short story in one go I would still feel no sense of fulfillment whatsoever.
At least with drawing I have those in-between moments of liking a stroke or liking a part of the coloring I did or that twinge of pride at seeing a sketch or semi-finished product. For writing it is pure loathing and/or self-doubt for the entire duration of the process and then empty disappointment at the end. Suggestions for correcting this would be immensely appreciated
-Galaxian-
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Western documentaries on cordyceps: infecting more ants more ants more ants more ants
Chinese people on cordyceps: ooh food
Imagine the first person seeing this fungus erupting from the mutilated corpse of a now-decomposing insect and thinking "oh holy gee wow what could this do for us humans hmm"
-Galaxian-
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What did they do to HYXHN's most handsome guy noooooooo
(Btw the only reason I call him the most handsome guy is because he randomly appeared in one of my dreams along with Kiaane and the two of them collectively pwned me so hard I woke up and couldn't do anything except try to imprint the dream into my brain and write it down somehow. Otherwise I have no way of quantifying how handsome the series' male characters are well for one most of them have wives who can fight so)
I like how for a moment I was viewing the main cast in an entirely different light (btw the main cast wacky) and then I remembered, "曾经年少轻狂,无不可行,才知人终有穷尽。” and then pretty much died inside
I just JIFFSDJOFSDJIO.
This series' songs don't miss, except that one song that plagiarized so badly that even I could hear it. Not the series' fault though. I think.
-Galaxian-
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Just did a 40-minute test within 4 minutes and then ran straight into a nearby forest to look at leaves
I'm either a master test-taker or so screwed (:
(It's harder to self-reflect and self-distinguish than one may realize; I can be both on the same day)
-Galaxian-
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I think it's an universal experience that when tests feel easy it also feels like you might've done terribly
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I'm sorry, I'd love to relate to that but when a test is easy I feel like I'll know it is. I guess it's not that way for you and others?
Like for today's test it wasn't easy, it was just me being fast and then going over the answers and not really seeing anything wrong.
It's like worth 25% of the final grade so let's hope I'm not delusional lol
-Galaxian-
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Tbh it's not even my fault how forum!Galaxian is so stupid. If you look at the Wayback Machine, every time my posts can be seen, they're always the most stupidly formatted ones. Like why can't my saved post history just have the more typical roleplay thread posts xD why do they have to be so cringe. Whyyyy
-Galaxian-
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I was so aesthetically blind and so cognizant about it that it's funny
Every time I see my forum signature from back then I do a full stop and die inside and then die even more when I realize I knew
Case in point, forum!Galaxian is too accurate. But also so hard to work on. (: (he's one of those characters where I clearly have an ideal idea for since I can headcanon how he acts, but when it comes to being more detailed I feel obligated to give up immediately)
-Galaxian-
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I also do wonder how my habit of typing that -Galaxian- signature at the end of my posts was and is perceived. It's one of those things where I know people notice it and probably wonder about it but rarely ask me about it directly.
I also know it's kinda cringe but, y'know, I gotta do what I gotta do. I gotta cringe everyone to death
-Galaxian-
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Forum!Galaxian dev: Just a funny lil guy -> holy heck he's stupid -> someone tell me what his morals are -> holy heck he's stupid -> just a funny lil guy -> SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HIS MORALS ARE :')
I really do find it funny how many areas he's turned out accurate in. It turns out I really do know myself better than I thought I did.
-Galaxian-
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GalaxianExplosion wrote:
I also do wonder how my habit of typing that -Galaxian- signature at the end of my posts was and is perceived. It's one of those things where I know people notice it and probably wonder about it but rarely ask me about it directly.
I also know it's kinda cringe but, y'know, I gotta do what I gotta do.I gotta cringe everyone to death
-Galaxian-
Tbh I always forget the signature is there for some reason. Other than that, I feel like it would be weird if your signature wasn't there XD
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Maybe it'd wear off if I stopped, but I ain't stoppin' xD
-Galaxian-
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Found out that in Chinese people just call the different Master-Servant pairs using the same formula
Basically: One character summarizing the class + Master + Servant
For instance, the Saber team would be: 剑主从 (sword Master and Servant)
The Archer team is 弓主从
(I think the Rider team goes by 骑组 instead but I keep just seeing the Saber and Archer pairing names lol so I dunno)
The thing is if I take off the Servant part for the Archer pairing I just get 弓主 for "Archer's Master," which is pronounced "gongzhu," the same as "princess" (in Chinese, 公主)
Princess Dion confirmed xD
-Galaxian-Archer starts calling his Master "Your lordship sir princess the second most majestic"
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Turns out the way I write has not changed at all since 2017, it's just now I snicker a lot more while doing it
-Galaxian-
Edit: Went in trying to write for a character, but didn't write their POV at all, just wrote joke interactions. Truly a Galaxian moment to be sure.
Last edited by GalaxianExplosion (October 19, 2023 21:18:28)
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I always wonder how cognizant other people are of their emotions
For me there's always that delayed effect that I've described before for negative emotions, and for happiness it's kinda a void usually. It disappears fast too when I do realize it.
The most consistent setting for happiness is when there's no one around, and I'm walking in the rain. Like today.
Negative emotions are really hard to pinpoint for me. When I'm super triggered or something I'll know it, but otherwise it takes a long time to set in.
I think I need to just start running more. It always seems to help. I find it funny how exercise is basically the definition of "smiling through the pain," but in a good way.
I also am gonna borrow a bike next week :D I got the weekend to figure out where I wanna go with it.
-Galaxian-
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I love the implication that Siegfried is the world's cutest dragon girl
-Galaxian-
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Wanna make a bet on whether forum!Galaxian will kill me through being funny or literally first?
I don't.
-Galaxian-
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GalaxianExplosion wrote:
I love the implication that Siegfried is the world's cutest dragon girl
-Galaxian-
Wdym Siegfried IS the world's cutest dragon girl
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That's why I love it. It's the truth
-Galaxian-
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It's that time of year again where the last 3 years start feeling like 10 but also the last year at the same time
-Galaxian-
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Also after what I think is like...5 years of waiting? I finally got to finish the Saintia Sho series.
Let's just say, Shaka and Mu ain't ever beating the allegations.Everyone in the Chinese fandom already called Mu Shaka's girlfriend. Finally getting up and fighting after seeing Mu struggle when normally you just sit around waiting to make a cooler entrance just doesn't help.
I love how SS simultaneously manages to be the most un-shippy work I've come across so far but also the most shippy one as soon as you turn your brain off. Just...don't think about it too hard.
-Galaxian-
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Reminder for myself: F/DA first impressions vs. later impressions template model for never-to-fill out because I tried to clear out my account where I have my ideas and writing documents but then wrote like 36 pages in one day and completely pwned the storage space anyways and now I need to make a new one. But also I wanna start on something a bit more serious.
In case you can't tell, rn I'm in the mood of "probably not okay but trying to sort through it maybe" so my status is:
-Stuck between thinking about sending a message but not doing it,
-Stuck between wanting to share things but (as usual) not doing it,
-Instead making probably worse things and hurling them out there as alternatives to things I wanna say and do here.
I thought trying something new was supposed to make me feel better.
Also I ate potatoes and eggs and I'm still like this.
-Galaxian-
(After hours of wanting to sleep they/I probably will finally go to sleep [I was waiting for my dormmate to come back because they are very loud when they come back after midnight and mess up my sleep quality very badly when they wake me up, so my logic on days like this is that I might as well get more tired and wait before going to bed, but it looks like they might not come back so I'm gonna go to bed now and hopefully they won't come back today])
Edit: So messed up mentally that I did two signatures instead of one, not messed up enough to not realize it after getting to bed and getting up specifically to correct it (((((((: