(*glances at 300 pages of random notes jotted from the last year alone*) What a blunder indeed.

Wait no, no actually. Next time someone's trying to sever my spine from behind in a dream, I'll be sure to ask them if I can first look for my sketchbook (with handsome Wiley, Kaori, etc.) and computer to see if I was smart enough to take notes in my dreamspace. :D
There is that memory boundary for psychology that I can't remember the term name of (':

I write 300 pages of the most random stuff but still can't write anything of actual quality lol. Do you see what kind of "content creator" I am dealing with here (*disgruntled gestures towards self*)

-Galaxian-

Oh yeah I feel like AP Psych is worth mentioning because
1) Our teacher decided to pwn us (read: me and my 2-second attention span) with a video-watching requirement before every class, which sucks since online school's biggest benefit is only having hard deadlines at the end of each half-semester. It was decided by the class doing a majority thing and honestly I disagree with that decision format, but...lol.
2) The course content just keeps reinforcing how much of a weirdo I actually am. I guess answers based on experience and everything turns out to be anything else. It's not even the extreme opposite either. Combined with my ability to not study, the exam is gonna be great. :'D

Also shoutout to that one AP Stats classmate of mine who is literally doing 0 coursework for the year (and just searching answers up on the internet) and is planning to cram in one week because that sounds like levels of stress that could squash me beyond the first dimension
Mostly a shoutout because for some reason they felt the need to not only tell me this but also elaborate like bruh xD

-Galaxian-

I agree, but honestly I'm interested in their results at the same time, so to each their own ig xD
Psychology is super fun until I realize I need to remember which names correspond to which theories (or whatever those are called in this field,,,) like rn I'm thinking of some female psychologist relating to child development but the literal only thing I can remember is her gender. I'm sure I could probably describe her theory separate from her, but the test doesn't seem to want to assess that lol.
Do you have a favorite unit? (Question applies to anyone who's taken a psychology class or has an interest in it, btw! I love hearing from you guys.)
And thank you for the luck! I also like plowing through coursework when I can, but my AP classes especially like putting multiple tasks in one assignment (which is...normal but xD). The video thing is primarily because 1) it's like half an hour long and I struggle at around 5 minutes usually, 2) while online we learn through articles and videos mostly, and so I'm even sicker of videos than I usually am lol (thanks AP Stats) 

-Galaxian-

Okay I'll just make another post here and then be quiet for about 20 hours xD

F/DA is basically a huge self guilt trip even at this point (I tried to analyze all my characters at once and...couldn't lol)
For some reason I also con my fellow countrymen and it's simultaneously hilarious and sad. Context? Chinese people have a history of looking down on each other. It's like America's racism problem but without the ethnicity component. Anyways the point is I feel so bad for Berserker and Rider
The above is also related to some random history I'm remembering with Psychology's help, but I can't really express that well.

I nearly just forgot what Nobukatsu's NP does (: thankfully I remembered
Anyhow, I was about to say that F/GO really gives me a lot (edit: not "thought" LOL) to think about when it comes to Sunny for whatever reason. That's also a guilt trip in 3 universes which is fun
That also reminded me of Lanling Wang having siblings in his life (one of which was a lil pompous from what I can tell). For some reason I just did not think of the fact while thinking of him xD

Aaaand I'm gonna censor myself before I say something family related that isn't fictional lol, y'all have a nice day

-Galaxian-

As of right now Boardhost is having some technical difficulties, so if they continue for too long (like...2 days lol), let me know and I'll contact Boardhost or something.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion wrote:

Do you have a favorite unit? (Question applies to anyone who's taken a psychology class or has an interest in it, btw! I love hearing from you guys.)

I don't know if I have a favorite overall, but I really enjoyed learning about neurodivergency and gender identity, both as separate concepts and in relation to each other. I took it alongside a sociology course so a lot of it kind of mixed together for me so I may be misremembering if we specifically covered gender identity in pysch or not but I think it's still relevant enough. I've researched and looked into psychology stuff on my own since about middle school because it interested me but as the years go on I think I was also subconsciously searching for answers about myself. The longer I'm in college and the more people I meet who are psych majors, that seems the common theme of them getting into the field as a byproduct of learning how they operate in the world.

I don't do well with remembering names either, I would give the people nicknames related to what they were known for to try and jumpstart my memory on quizzes and stuff, but then I only remembered their nicknames and not their actual ones lol

I've been pondering whether or not to say this 'cause I know I suck at striking a balance between good and bad (in fact I sometimes feel like I never talk about the good lol, but that's probably too extreme as well), but anyways there's another worry I wanted to kind of note? It's not even hoping that if I say it, the possibility will go away. Anyhow, what's the harm. (Still spoiler tagged though lol.)

So basically the other day I suddenly realized the possibility of my biological father coming around to my high school graduation specifically to ruin the event for me. It might seem like paranoia (and it somewhat is) because he's still out-of-state from what I know, and most hopefully, he might not think of the idea. But on the other hand, please do understand that I don't call him a narcissist for no reason. He has a very long history of intentionally speaking and acting to both my mom and I during days that are supposed to be happy (i.e. sending me emails during my birthday [unfortunately including this year, which I found out by accident (:], refusing to pay child support during Chinese New Year, showing up completely uninitiated near the end of my time in middle school and scaring me half to death, showing up to my final choir concert uninitiated [which I dodged by somehow getting sick by luck that day and not being able to show up], literally telling my mom that he curses her to die every single day in the middle of an otherwise pleasant conversation [in cultural context this is extremely horrible and more than superstition], etc. etc.), and seeing as how my school keeps sending him stuff related to what I'm doing in school despite my pleas for them to not do that, I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to show up and try to ruin the event. Again, he knows showing up will impact me negatively because he has scared me repeatedly in the past (making me cry and cause scenes in front of others and all that), and that's probably a reason as to why he kept doing it, and he's done this in the past despite being out-of-state too (and just as far away from the state as he currently is). So yeah. I'm actually not entirely paranoid this time.
What I'm trying to figure out is how I should handle this situation. In the past I've resorted to hiding and running (and honestly the running is what is worrying me because it's...kinda traumatic ngl), but this time it'd be pretty darn hard since the setting would be unfamiliar and potentially dangerous. And I know there's really no one who can help me with this, since they just try to send me to therapists or whatever instead of being able to do what I ask them to do (with reason or less reason) and I am not dealing with that right now. Another alternative is that I could just try to train myself to not care about the event and even not go, but I'm not gonna lie, that'd be pretty terrible for me, since our school forced us to buy graduation stuff and all that (yay money) and my last in-person meeting with my online teachers matters a whole bunch to me.
So idk, I'm just thinking about it right now, I guess? This time I actually don't need suggestions from you guys, mostly out of fear that I'd have to explain the situation more than what I'd be comfortable with and end up becoming way oversensitive again, I dunno. But thanks for any concern. 

Yikes, that's kind of a bad ending there. But hey, maybe sending this was a bad decision. And don't worry about reading this. It's really...not as serious of a thing as I'm probably imagining it to be. But you know me, overdramatizing stuff like this because I can't take life obstacles or whatever.

-Galaxian-

Finally learned the source of the "28 Stab Wounds" meme lol.
It's kinda fitting, since I just finished speed-watching a playthrough of The Walking Dead's first season. And of course, I got emotional for basically no reason, but that's pretty much me with any story.
Could I have learned the source way before? Yes. But did I do a simple Google search to do so? No, lol.

Anyhow, I appreciate the meme because I remember even if it's inaccurate for GGaD!Galaxian, it's funny to imagine a version of him who somehow has anger issues and has to resort to interrogation to get a confession out of someone. (I was gonna say "to find out who did a murder" but I realized that isn't really the point of interrogations)
(*intense document slamming*)
honestly it's "funny" because it reflects my own lack of patience,,, that's actually more sad than funny lol

-Galaxian-

Yeah, I noticed the series has a knack for killing people off for sure.
I might be totally off the mark here, but was Bliss as a character related to Clementine at all? For some reason I sensed some connection between them, but I might be stretching it way too much.

-Galaxian-

Oho, being (possibly) right! (*smug noises*)
That's kinda funny, I think I have the opposite thing. Though it doesn't apply right now.

----

My current solution to stress is pretending I'm capable and just letting soft deadlines go by so I can focus on stuff separately rather than all at once.
Is it actually a solution? Well it is for me, until the middle of March that is, where I may possibly have a breakdown (but it's better than consecutive breakdowns from January up until then)

-Galaxian-

Someone named Yinhe just friended me and I am honestly terrified
First it was Run, then it was Cosmic, and now this
What horrors am I inviting into my friends list

-Galaxian-

On F/GO's story because I haven't talked about it in a long while (please do not click on spoilers if you play the game)

Honestly LB5 part 2 (Olympus) was a bit less exciting story-wise than I had anticipated. Most of it was Zeus being a bastard god. The end did get a lot better in my view (I still haven't finished though so idk what the conclusion is like), but overall the message I got on the gods' behalf was "Zeus horrible, others semi-okay" 
Ares did not act like what I'd expected him to act like btw. It felt like Kintoki was the one in charge. Or maybe that was the point. Demeter did not have collarbones and Aphrodite wasn't very pretty for a goddess of beauty, but hey (: since the two of them were supposedly nice usually I'll try not to insult their appearances too much.
And btw I love Zeus' design (as a terminal). I think it fits a lot. His original machine form is kinda more like a joke for me though.
I went off on a tangent, sorry. The point I was trying to make is, it felt like the writers weren't committing to one aspect of Zeus? On one end he was semi-sympathetic due to being more humble with Kirschtaria and appreciating humanity's worship of him, but I felt like his sentiments didn't make up for his actions. Also, his personality was disappointingly shallow, since it felt like there was some point of humanity developing in the gods as a result of being worshipped, and Zeus just felt like this...super shallow existence. I mean, for a guy who bragged so much about omnipotence, you wouldn't think he'd give up and say "Thank you for your existence" to the humanity that made him a god in the first place. It just feels so wrong.
Now, onto Kirschtaria (god I hope I didn't mix up his name's s and c) and his Servant, Caenis. I felt like I got a better grip of Caenis this chapter, though I still dunno their pronouns, so I'm gonna stick with "they/them" and hope they don't gut me lol. Kirschtaria was interesting because I felt like for the most part, he stayed consistent to what he was representing: Humanity and how it will justify its own ideals. He sacrificed Proper Human History (or intended to do so) through manipulating the Foreign God, ironically because he wanted to prove himself able to self-sacrifice like that urchin who saved him could. In his parallel of Fujimaru Ritsuka, he's a good counter to them in showing the origins of what he wants to do and why he wants to accomplish his goals.
The problem for me is that even accounting for how he represents the fallibility of human nature, he still represents the arrogance of a mage, which isn't what Fujimaru has. In fact, this is my problem with how the Lostbelts are portrayed as a whole. We're destroying a history and all the people in them for our own, yadda yadda. But consider: The protagonist is the one on the defense with the rest of Chaldea. If the Crypters had never provoked Proper Human History by pruning the Earth and establishing the Lostbelts, it's not like the Cosmic Theoretical Phenomenon that pruned these histories had anything to do with Fujimaru. Fujimaru quite literally has done, and is doing, nothing wrong. All they've been doing is trying their best to make the best out of horrible circumstances (Goetia's initial erasing of humanity, and now humanity's history by whatever is behind all of the second arc), and people blame them?? I just feel like the argument collapses. Sure, what they're doing is cruel in a sense, but they're doing it out of necessity, and they're suffering so much guilt over it. And yeah, it's more despair-inducing than the first Arc, but reality has always been this way. In the end, it's the Crypters' fault--and by extension their leader's--for pulling all of this onto Fujimaru's shoulders (as well as the shoulders of Chaldea). I respect Kirschtaria's willingness to fight so hard to create what he wants to create, but really, he never lost the advantage he had inherently. That fact cannot be denied.

-Galaxian-

I guess being able to take notes on a single video is a start lol
At least this inspiration storm didn't come at a horrible time. So I can't say it was totally bad. The source of it wasn't as nice though.

Erik Erikson's parents either were totally unaware what they had named him or had a sense of humor I can relate to
Anyways I've just been here thinking how ErikErik was either wrong on the 1st psychosocial stage of his theory or I was just a naive lil dum-dum, 'cause if his theory were correct then I should have developed a lot of distrust, and I didn't. I had a lot of short-term fear but it didn't carry to the long-term at all really, and it's just weird
Also later on I developed some abandonment issues (plus some other things) but then got rid of them out of spite within a few years so that's there too. 
Is not needing therapy advanced, or just stupid? Knowing me, I actually lean towards the latter.
And I'd joke about it being semi-psychopathy, but actually it's not as extreme, so I think it could still be seen as normal. (Or ig that's what a psychopath might say. I hope not. I honestly don't have a very good grasp of psychopathy/sociopathy,,,)

-Galaxian-

I like how I keep remembering stuff that I was supposed to know already, like how the Alternate and 0RES would psychologically not make sense (but then I remember that is literally the point)
Honestly this post is making up for something else I was gonna say on the Alternate, but I just completely forgot. Maybe it was imaginary scene set-up or something.
Edit: Also I still dunno what to do with my roleplaying thread, like I don't feel like archiving it but feel like its current state of inactivity is better too. Idk, I guess if you have thoughts on that, you could say something to make my opinion lean more in one direction.
Edit #2: I've also realized that it fits me better to talk to myself on a document I'll most likely never be able to find things in again compared to a semi-public thread that people might read. You would think that reactions would be the main component, but it seems that it's not it. But at the same time, I do want some sort of outlet to share weird thoughts. I just want it to be more filtered, y'know? Surprisingly.
Edit #3: Though I realize this homethread really is countering everything I am trying to say lol, ironic.

-Galaxian-

Aside from the stupid logic behind why Kanon died in the Hades arc, I'd also like to point out how stupid the entire "Athena's love" message was in his story. She always had to save him right before he was about to drown. Which I get is necessary (or else he wouldn't have been able to feel her mercy or whatever if the water never actually got to a dangerous level) but still I'm pretty sure that's basically just torture
Like tactically it's genius since it's implied Kanon was pretty much throwing a tantrum for his entire villain arc (though he's 28 years old lmiao) and he also has the child soldier backstory like the others, but if you're trying to humanize Athena you just get that she was way too good at manipulating him back to her side. 
Big yikes lol.

-Galaxian-