Kaori: "I'm ordering McDonald's, you want anything?"

Francis who accidentally dropped his sketchbook in a puddle earlier: "A happy meal, without the meal though."



Galaxian and Echo: "Can we get ice cream?"

Apollo: "Did you ask Germaine?"

Galaxian: "She said no."

Apollo: "Then why are you asking me?"

Echo: "She's not the boss of you."

Apollo, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap-

Apollo: "Oh, okay. Sure then!"



Apollo: "Today, like all days, we are...?"

The class: "Watching a movie!"

Apollo, nodding: "And why?"

The class: "A dude is tired!"

Apollo, turning the movie on and getting in a sleeping bag: "A dude is tired."



Hitan: *Talks about a character death in literature*

Silence: "Big mood, I wish that was me."

Hitan:

Hitan: "Is everything okay at home-"



Sunny, about Wiley: "I just thought he needed to listen to common sense and reasonable discourse."

Germaine: "Please tell me those aren't the names of your fists-"

Sunny: "My feet. I'm actually more of a kicker."




Malaika: "I just believe you're spiritually a New Yorker."

Wiley: "That's the nicest way to call someone a jerk, I think."





Calix: "I made the perfect learning robot to study the effects of our society on our teens."

Dion, pointing at Adrik who is having a panic attack after learning Rai's talent: "You messed up a perfectly good robot, that's what you did! Look at him, he has anxiety!"



Specter: "I'm gonna need a human skull but I can't have you ask questions. "

Malaika: "As long as you don't ask why or how."

Malaika, pulling out a box of pristine human skulls: "Pick any."

Specter:

Specter, picking one out: "This one will work."




Calix: "I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in my classroom!"

Wiley: "Is there a different type of idiocy you would be comfortable with?"




Malika in her study journal: "Update: I may or may not be in a cult."

Malaika: "Update number two: I may or may not be the leader of said cult."




Alma: "Don't make me angry, I'll sing musicals at you!"

Wiley??? Idk, honestly: "Haha! Don't you mean showtunes? You can't sing a WHOLE musical at me!"

Alma: "I know what I said."

Sunny: 99.9% of the people I know are stupid.
Sollux: I'm the 1%!
Sunny, with a completely deadpan look: You tried to mean 0.1%

Apollo: Turns out being an adult is just Googling how to do stuff.

Wiley: For someone who's 70% water, you don't look very refreshing
Raez: BURNNNNN
Wiley: Water can't be burned
Raez: ...EVAAAAAAAAAAAAPORRRRRRRATE

~

Wiley: I hate the way you pack my lunch
Raez: Maybe you should pack your own lunch
Wiley: (*packs 34 Oreos*)
Raez: ...maybe I should pack your lunch

~

Wiley: (*winks*)
Silence: (*winks*)
Wiley: (*winks*)
Silence: (*winks*)
Yvonne: what are they doing?
Galaxian: They're communicating
Rai: They're just hungry.

~

Login Instructions: Type your password
Kiaane, typing: "your password"
Login Instructions: your password is incorrect
Kiaane: "incorrect"
Login instructions: Try again
Kiaane: "again"
 

Wiley: (*evil maniacal laughter*)
Wiley: That was a very funny joke, haha, thank you, Miss. Germaine.
Germaine: ...Okay, then.

~

(Galaxian in a horror movie) 
Killer: OPEN THE DOOR
Galaxian: No. Where are your manners?
Killer: ...please?
Galaxian: (*opens the door*) See, how easy was that?

~

(Different HPA characters doing chores*)
Silence: (*breaks broom*) shoot
Yvonne, to herself: okay honestly what can you do right (*goes back to sleep*)
Raez: Wiles, you break anything in my kitchen, you die.
Galaxian: Clean up, clean up, everybody clean up! ^-^
Wiley, since he was only specifically instructed not to break anything: (*creates a bigger mess*)
Sunny: what the frick is this (*gets rid of all Sollux evidence in the room*)

~

Wiley: "u got a letter"
Rai: "Okay"
Wiley: "from the bank, I think"
Rai: "Okay"
Wiley: "tasted important"

~

Wiley: "knock knock"
Raez: "Who's there lol"
Wiley: "Daisy"
Raez: "Daisy who?"
Wiley: "DAISY ME ROLLIN', THEY HATIN'"
Raez: "We can't be seen together anymore."

~

Raez: "Hi"
Wiley: "Hi"
Raez: "Did you eat?"
Wiley: "Did you eat?"
Raez: "Are you copying me?"
Wiley: "Are you copying me?"
Raez: "I love you <333333"
Wiley: "yea i ate already"

~

Wiley: "DUDE!! COME TO MY HOUSE RN!!"
Raez: "Bro, it's 3 am, no freaking way"
Wiley: "but i just found my mom's secret stash of Oreos!!!!!!!"
Raez: "I'll be over in 5 min"
Wiley: "Back door's open"

~

Wiley: "what's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a tube of glue?"
Raez: "Idk"
Wiley: "you can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna"
Raez: "Haha"
Raez: "What about the glue though?"
Wiley: "I knew you'd get stuck there"
Raez: 
Raez: "Oh gods"

~

Wiley: "😡"
Raez: "Ha! Your silly iPhone just sent a blank square box."
Wiley: "😡😡😡😡😡😡😡！RAEZ"
Raez: "Now it sent seven!! I'm assuming you're sending hearts because you love me so much"
Wiley: "🤢😝🐷🐷🐷🔪🔪👺👺👺👺👺👺"
Raez: "Awww! I love you too!"

~
 

Anima: what does IDK, LY and TTYL mean?
Rai: I don't know, love you, talk to you later.
Anima: ok, I'll ask Raez

It's not the best lol, but here

Magazine cover of Sollux #1, I'll do another one later lol

Please end me, my back is in agony

Sunny: I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. I speak for the trees for the trees have no tongues.

Wiley: It must be so nice to be rich instead of having to develop a personality
Sunny: Oh, shut up.
Wiley: Buy my silence

Malaika, storming into Wiley's lab: What the heck is wrong with you?
Wiley: Wow, you could at least start with a "Good morning."
Malaika: Good morning, what the heck is wrong with you?

Wiley: I'll bet my reputation on it.
Malaika: Sorry, there's a five pound minimum.

Raez: I can't believe you would do something so stupid.
Wiley: I think we can all believe that I would do something so stupid.

Wiley: Next time a conspiracy theorist tries to tell you "what really happened", present a more outlandish theory and accuse them of covering up the truth. 
-
Conspiracy theorist: "The French Revolution never happened."
Wiley: "Pfft, you believe in France?"

Kaori: Always stay positive! ^_^
Kaori: *trips and falls down the stairs*
Kaori: Wow, I got down those stairs fast!

Allen: Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Malaika: You told me to help you satanize the place.
Allen:
Allen: I said "sanitize".