Wanna RP? I have no ideas but I crave to RP HAHSHSHSHS also trying to figure out characters

Which reminds me, I should make a form for The Conductor

Sorry, I'm coming back a day later 'cause I think I didn't quite convey everything I wanted to say. I guess being tired will do that.

Okay, but actually speaking, one of my classes is talking about conflict resolution, so ironically, that's kinda why I'm back. Thank academics for being a propulsive force for once lol. 

What I'm interested in actually hearing from you is--are you comfortable with the way our relationship is going? If not, then what would you like to do about it together? 
If you are okay with it, then I am too, or will be eventually. But if you're not, then...well, this conversation will probably have more meaning.
I've brought the topic up in the past, and I genuinely wanted and want to hear your thoughts. But I end up chickening out a lot. Hopefully this time it'll be a bit different.

If you feel like responding, then feel free to do so here or however you'd like. I know it might be a bit private of a topic. Or not. Anyways, the point is that I will likely respond here (or in PMs here...before I run out of storage there), but I do want to try to accommodate for your preferences. 

Genuinely speaking, I do not feel satisfied with the way our relationship has been progressing for the past few years. But I feel as if I am not very good at approaching the topic with you...well, in general, but you know what I mean.
If you feel like it, shoot me a reply. But as a personal request, if you could please only reply when you have the time and energy to respond in greater detail, I'd appreciate it. 
Thanks and have a good night. And I really do look forward to hearing from you, since it's been a while.

-Galaxian-

No worries. As you (and apparently, everyone) knows, I have the polar opposite problem of writing too much. I do feel as if both are detrimental though, since online we can only communicate through written words. And I do appreciate the response.

If you want to move this conversation to Discord, or just want to write your responses there, then please just let me know here so I know to check over there. However, I will probably continue replying here--unless that makes you uncomfortable, of course.

Also, moving forward, I'm going to try to edit my replies more so I don't talk extensively about my opinion only and detract from the main point too much, but I do want to try to explain my viewpoint better so we can communicate well, so a lot of this post is going to me trying to describe my current perspective. 

First and foremost: I want to say with all sincerity that I truly respect that you (and Specter, and probably others here as well) prefer Discord. I think it has its upsides, the biggest (imo) being that it's pretty easy to search up chatting content. Of course, the overall difference in opinion might end up being too big a rift for me to adjust to in the long term, which I think is already contributing to the present situation.

With that said, I swear that I am not trying to be difficult by refusing to adjust to the times. My main issue with Discord is the fact that it clearly shows people who are active and available, but those people do not seem to take the initiative in reaching out, and have shown this behavior consistently for the past few years. And when I reach out, they do not reply in a way that feels...personal, I guess?
Anyone can respond to me with a flame emoji. And people I've spoken to one time in real life will respond after months and claim they forgot...I do the same thing why? Because the overall interaction doesn't really matter to either of us. In both cases, the overall neutrality conveyed of how they feel about me and our relationship is kinda the same, and it feels worse when I feel like I have brought the topic up with my friends, but they avoid it every time. 

Speaking of this topic specifically, Discord has been a topic that I've brought up many times to Specter, and maybe a few times to you. I don't remember you reacting much other than in the form of emojis (e.g. the pensive one), so I must say this overly emotional and probably illogical thing in an attempt to verbalize my emotions:

When I bring up this topic, I have noticed that you and Specter tend to first simply answer that you prefer the format there. That, to me, is simply a difference in opinion, which I can totally respect. The actual underlying issue, in my opinion, is lack of communication quality in maintaining our relationship in the first place. When I say that I don't really like it because forumers who I used to know left for there--in other words, trying to convey that I think you guys will leave me the same way and sometimes outright stating so--you point out that you guys have many fond memories of roleplaying there, and prefer roleplaying there by this point. So then, what can I say in response to that? 
Well, actually, I was extremely petty and refused to accept that this current situation would become a reality in the past, which was wrong of me and which I really apologize for. I truly do accept that at this point in time.

What I wish you guys could do is sometimes, be the one to bring up that we haven't talked. I feel as if I am always the one bringing it up. Therefore, it leads to thoughts like:
"Does our increasing distance truly not bother you, or are you afraid that I will react negatively?"
That becomes, over the period of months:
"Do they simply not really care about me? Do they not trust me at all?
I'm sure it is better this way, but I still have many words I want to say to them, and although I did wrong them in the past, it doesn't feel like that at this moment."
In other words, I ultimately do react negatively after a long time of stewing in my thoughts and feelings, because it feels as if I am the only one trying to repair old wrongs and understand our relationship as it develops, while my friends simply avoid it and maybe presume that worse things would happen otherwise. 

As it is currently, I feel as if I am always the one starting conflict with you guys, maybe even for no good reason, so it is better if I simply stay away. But I miss you guys too, and it'd be dumb to simply let a relationship go without working on it in my opinion.  

That's my side. If there's something that I'm misrepresenting about your views at any point, or that you feel like I could address it, please let me know.

In trying to anticipate some of your viewpoint, I want to say that your preference toward Discord feels totally logical to me. Some parts I can't quite describe aloud, but I am sure you get much more engagement from others there that I and others here am simply not able to provide, and I think it is always exciting to have people to talk to in real time who are enthusiastic about the same interests.
 
Furthermore, speaking to our relationship only, I think some of our distance is probably because we simply don't have that much in common anymore. We watch different shows, play different games, don't roleplay together at all (and only have a few past characters that can be shared topics in conversation, who don't even have that deep a connection most of the time). Even when we read the same books or watch the same shows, we seem to enjoy and pick out vastly different things to analyze or talk about, which is kind of funny to me but unfortunately contributory to everything described here.
Also, even if I haven't stated so directly to you, I think it's embarrassingly clear that it's easy for me to write this much on this topic, but I'm bone dry when it comes to commenting on others' art and writing. It gets worse when I don't click with the content. In the end I think I might just be selfish, but I think this is also a big limitation and flaw on my end.

There are also things that I still might be describing unfairly, so please just point that out to me as you're comfortable doing. For example--I know that you have a hard time responding in detail for any reason, and that you don't like this sort of super long, overly serious conversation. But I personally feel as if I have put it off for too long, so just take it as you will and respond when you're ready.

For this post, I mostly focused on trying to describe my side out as directly as I can. But I don't want this conversation to simply be me venting out all my emotion-fuelled problems like in the past. Eventually, I hope that this conversation can involve compromises and small solutions.
 
So, I'm taking a pause here. The reason is that I'd like to hear your side more, because sometimes I simply feel as if I don't understand enough.
If you have thoughts and feelings on anything I described, please let me know, regardless of how you organize those thoughts (or don't).
If I got something wrong about your side, let me know.
If I have been doing something that has made you feel resentment, did something of the sort just now, or did something in the past that has stuck to the present, then let me know and I will try to work on it going forward. And again, if you really do not want to talk about this here, then we can move this conversation to Discord. I'm more than happy to write this out on a document and copy and paste it in chunks. 

Thanks, Echo. And again, I must say--I'm really glad I got to meet you. It's just relationship maintenance is hard work. Even so, I want to try to work it out with you.

-Galaxian-

And I'd say that even before being diagnosed, I knew something was wrong and I was avoidant

Echo VS being sane

Thank you hahshshshsh

Also check Dis I gave a reply there to the thing you sent HAHSHAHAHAH

But also yeah, I guess the problem is both sides being like "the other will send something" and no one saying anything 😭

Thanks for the notice about Discord.
My focus was more on communication initiative. Imo it is pretty normal for friends to not contact each other for a bit if they're busy, but if there's a problem coming out of there, well.

-Galaxian-

Echowo wrote:

I've been working on world lore for the world my characters like Alma, Aloes, Silencio, and Ophelia are in

Stuff goes crazy


Also update: Silencio is their nickname now- they got the nickname because of how loud they are XD

Their name is actually:

José María Amor

But they also get called Julio


Silencio is collecting names like Pokémon

 
Fixed Juan to José

Idk why I put Juan, it's José María

😭