GODS still in shambles over Apollo. Help me. I love Space Jesus and his fondness of Ruin, they're a little family AUGHHWHHDJAJDJS

I think it's the mix between Ruin believing himself inherently isn't made for happiness while Apollo believing himself to inherently been made to please others, including giving others happiness and care

Mostly concept, but, Apollo's care for the world and everyone around him but also believing he will not live long enough to ever see the results of it pain me so much. He [believes he] won't live long enough to ever see Ruin truly be happy and in doing this he doesn't see how happy he actually makes Ruin, because all Apollo knows is to give and give until there's nothing left of him and if Ruin is making Apollo happy too, then he's not giving enough to Ruin and therefore Ruin can't possibly be actually happy. And while he's actively helping Ruin mentally and socially, he's purposely hurting himself in the process because it's how [he believes] his own love should work. Because his only purpose is to burn out

Drawing ideal things and whatnot, I suppose

Seis is so silly and so full of rizz

"Seis. Seis please you're going to get mauled. Seis we're going to have to get rabies shots again. Seis Please" - Silence's logical side of inner monologue (it's very quiet and is ignored)

of course I'm not wrong, I have immaculate taste

(Points at buff lady) This ma'am can carry so many people

Gods Emil's funeral is such an interesting topic to me. Because Francis and his adoptive parents went to it, and the reason they were able to even know about it/were contacted was because Faust allowed it. And Faust was there, too

All I can think is that it was Faust, in a way, reminding Francis that he still has power over him. That Faust is allowing Francis to have a nice family because he's being "merciful", and that allowing Francis to the funeral was an act of kindness

I wonder if it was also a way to threaten Francis.

Romeo costume is all good and well but when are we getting Santa Utterson

(Seis is in demon form, staring wide-eyed at a fully decorated Christmas tree)
(The camera pans over to a very tense Malaika, who is staring at Seis while holding a spray bottle)

He looks like he would crumple like a sandcastle being hit by a wave but he would do anything to possibly piss off Faust, which graffiting some of the Occult's temples may do XD

"I don't care if he doesn't see it, I hope it burns him from inside out"
"Lol Slay frfr then."

No one:

Utterson in the back of my head for no reason: OH GOOD HEAVENS

AUGH need to. Draw More

I like to imagine that construction sounds happen while she's untangling stuff and no one questions it

Mainly stuff for Inside My Head but Francis, Silencio, and Echo all having bad coping skills from both family trauma and being in the foster system is both painful but interesting to me. Interesting because I like psychology and also trying to figure out developments

Elaborations/me rambling: I spoiler tagged them because they're all long reads XD

Francis:

Constantly makes himself "low maintenance" to the people around him, whether it be subconscious or conscious, to present himself as more likable and sorta as a way to make up for the fact he has. Problems. Not only does he do it publicly, but he does it when he's alone due to an "internal narrative" (aka guilt for. Literally needing the bare minimum to survive). As a child, I think he most likely would straight up refuse to properly take care of himself/wouldn't let others help or take care of him (adding on, the lack of proper self care would make him feel something "familiar", since that before being in the foster system, he was highly neglected and abused by Faust). Now I think it mostly effects him mentally, like he will accept help, but he makes notes in his mind of "debts". Like, he feels like he forever owes Everyone, even if it's something like just reminding him to eat. It also doesn't help that not only does he build up guilt, is a perfectionist, and tries to always do everything "as little as he can", he naturally forgets to take care of himself due to getting distracted or obsessing over his work. Francis, I feel like, is the one OC who has the least let go of his bad coping skills. However, I also need to headcanon more between him and his adoptive parents because tbh I would probably have a better feel of what Francis is like if I could figure out That Stuff RIP

Silencio:

"Turning off" their emotions/empathy when faced with hard emotions/situations. Originally, I had stated that they can't feel empathy, but now that I've developed them more, I have decided that it's them just sorta. Mentally flicking a switch because it's easier for them to bottle up than actually deal with/process their feelings. Of course, this effected them worse when first fostered (and eventually adopted) by Alma, because they would get aggressive and frustrated very easily (to the point of lashing out/becoming violent), however I think sometimes it still effects them in their older years. Just something that although Got Better with stability, it never completely left. They're a lot more laid back as an older teenager than they were as a kid, although they are very easily "emotional" (while still being "emotionless"/unreactive in actual hurtful/stressful situations). Although it's very obviously stated in past headcanons, they still have violent urges from penting up these emotions (and in general sometimes from having angst over the past), however Seis helps with that through the two of them platonically beating each other up. So while they still have this negative coping mechanism, they... Technically have a good outlet for it??? Does Seis offering to fight Silence with no consequences count? They technically trust each other very much to not actually fully hurt the other and most likely have set up rules for when they fight, but,,, XD idk. Better than Silencio having emotional breakdowns and being unable to emotionally regulate themself. Silencio and Seis's friendship is so funny to me but they help each other so much, so ig I also need to consider that

Echo/Ophelia:

Using an "animal persona" to hide behind/ask for basic necessities. I don't really talk about Echo a lot so. Yippee! Echo Time! So basically, In My Mind, she carries around this stuffed bunny and sorta does this thing where she "indirectly" asks for things (or states stuff) by phrasing stuff as "Miss Bunny would like..." Or "Miss Bunny thinks..." Or "Miss Bunny has a question..." (and ect, ect). This is something that happens with younger children in general, although it's very common iirc for children with trauma in terms of how the persona is used and how long it lasts (I'm not exactly sure if there's a word for it or anything like that, I just remember reading something about it some time back. Welcome to "Echo's source is his Really Bad Memory"). And to be more specific, Echo's is a more severe case of it due to her being way past the age someone does that (she's physically 15-16, and the persona thing is commonly used by toddlers to eight or nine iirc. To generalize, basically very young children who tend to still be in the age for imaginary friends). Although this is explained a bit through her tending to revert into a very young child's mindset/severe age regression (I don't think I ever really decided how young she is mentally. I would say probably eight? However, I will note that she does have moments of being in a mental state more towards her age, it's just that she doesn't retain those moments for long periods of time). Not exactly a bad coping mechanism more than something that she can't really control, but I'm going to note that she's partially mute, which caused her to be considered "hard to take care of" or made adults think "she's unwilling to cooperate", which probably additionally made her afraid to directly ask for things. So using her stuffed bunny, it makes it easier for her to get past her anxiety, as well as she probably sees it as making asking for things more "lighter", if that makes sense. It "softens" the question. (I get it, but idk if it makes any sense typed out). I would assume overtime that living with the Amor Family causes her to eventually shift into directly asking for things, however I think it would be a VERY slow progress

Also to talk more about the three, they all were seen as "problematic" children for similar but also different reasons. All three were seen as "uncooperative", "hard to take care of", and were all Very unstable due to the lack of understanding and their backstories. So idk anyway I need to stop thinking of character stuff so early in the morning XD


I'm going to read this later and kick myself but Oh Well! That's life!

Echowo wrote:

Thinking about For Funsies! AU age headcanons because helps with drawing ig

Okay so now we're ranging around mid-late 30's to early 40's with Romeo and Hektor. Also RIP Romeo, I feel like he gets pwned more and more with each HC

Ik Ishaan and Mary are both definitely early 30's

I think Chance Finnick is probably 19, and Maple is definitely around 19-21

I still think Paris is around 13, he gives 13 vibes

Hyde is still 19, Jekyll is still around 22

Utterson and Lanyon, I'm still not sure. Most likely around Jekyll's physical age

I've been trying to figure out Billy's age. Idk yet

Jack is 8, I think

Beserker I think is around 17

AUGH I'm realizing that there's So Many characters in the AU, this is barely a list of a good portion of them TwT

 
I lied, Maple is probably 25-26

Making Adrik basically be a reflection of a life HDK isn't allowed to have is hurting me