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I finished my homework! :D
Now to wait for finals. Also I need to watch a Math video before tomorrow.
I have some plans for the break, I guess, but they don't really involve roleplaying since I don't have much RPing to do. Mostly art. Maybe writing. APUSH kills writing motivation almost as much as AP Gov & Politics. Truly admirable. Probably the F/GO event. Watch me not get the welfare Servant (Nightinggale (Santa) (Archer)) even while being on break lol. Also, definitely sleep. And hopefully, that game session thing with you guys.
I don't understand how others can go without 13 hours of sleep per day.
In addition, we got our first snow the other day. Kinda pathetic, ngl. One measly layer. It was gone before the day passed. :'(
Also, the other day I was volunteering and got to pet a dog. I swear, I nearly cried lol; it's been years. It was very small and cute. And soft. I love dogs. I'd wanna get one if I had no ability to self-reflect on my amount of responsibility.
-Galaxian-
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I love the kids who are doing the 3rd week's work during the last 9 minutes of week 7 who have given up on capitalization, coherence, and (unfortunately I couldn't think of a c word for this) quality (hey the sounds to the beginnings sound similar though)
-Galaxian-
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I used an AI to rate my attractiveness for fun, expecting a 45% (my self-esteem isn't that low lol, I just think of myself as average), but it gave me something above 70% and said that I look nice or whatever.
Thanks, AI.It said I have a big nose and small mouth. Idk about my nose, but my mouth is of average length for an East Asian xF @AI. So I am going to just focus on the big nose part.
As a clarification beforehand, I would not advise asking for the link, because I dunno how privacy things actually work for the site and also I probably would refuse to give a link based on what I know of certain others' self esteem (lol this sounds so passive aggressive geez. Unintentional). Obviously AI isn't that accurate, but I still feel like someone with already low self-esteem might take it too seriously or smthn.
-Galaxian-
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I love those math problems where they tell you there's a rectangle, but you do a problem and can prove that there's no rectangle, and that's the answer.
:')
-Galaxian-
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I used 108 SQ on the Christmas banner and ended up with 3 Nursery Rhymes.
I am neither salty nor disappointed, though all I can imagine is Nursery Rhyme pushing Ash aside every time he even considered leaving the Throne again, which is funny.
I think I know where this came from. I'm pretty sure it's because earlier, I berated Galaxian for his faults (in a post that is now deleted because of Reasons). So now I friendship Nursery Rhyme and Galaxian.
NP 3 though, lol.
Thanks, Nursery Rhyme, for defending my own persona more than me :-P.
-Galaxian-
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Why did I say 128? If I have 128 SQ, I'd have enough patience to wait for 2 more for a multi-roll. No, I only had 108 to spare.
Man, lol, still funny.
-Galaxian-
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Lanling Wang, betraying me for some Santa Island mask basically:
Me: :shrug: This is Fine (:
-Galaxian-
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It's a rule in F/GO to just take betrayals in stride, though going with what I ranted about GGaD!Galaxian yesterday, I would not recommend making this the normal
Lanling Wang has only like 60K health since it's an easy node so I just keep pwning him with Uncle I'll-Shoot-It and, ironically, backline Changgong (:
-Galaxian-
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Also no I'm not playing it rn lol, doing a math final actually. Dw, not that irresponsible, yet.
-Galaxian-
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The wind is throwing a tantrum atm, like man, why? You're not the one doing finals, smh.
-Galaxian-
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I am still hecking cursed by a 96% for all math finals since the start of high school, (: irritated at myself but it's fine lol
-Galaxian-
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Lol not even the AP exam is this cruelwatch it be tho
-Galaxian-
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Something kinda makes me afraid, and not just for myself lol.
I used to know a person, I guess. I thought they were nice. They were very enthusiastic about most everything (but especially one topic in particular), really helpful, sensitive to others' feelings. Not gonna lie, they kinda reminded me of Specter, which was probably why I leaned towards them a little more than others. You know, like, Specter with their love of minerals and ghosts, enthusiasm, and trying to keep others as the priority. They obviously only reminded me of Specter--I think my ability to be friends with Specter is/was greater than with them--but you know, with the type of people they and Specter were being somewhat alike, I thought that maybe there'd be a greater chance there.
But there was a period of time of inactivity from my part, because they were only on Discord or social media, where I have no way to get active on. To be honest, I never have wanted to get active there, either, so that was that.
Now...well, I won't say that I haven't changed, because I have. Some parts for the better, some parts for the worse. But they...
...well, I obviously don't want to say this often, and would never say this without wanting them to be better, but they changed, too. Not for the better.
Maybe they did get more aware of what could hurt them and became more proactive in protecting themselves. Those things aren't issues at all. But now, they're all coiled up in a way, constantly ready to defend themselves, constantly ready to strike at anything or anyone that can hurt them. That includes people who might just be wanting to give advice to make them better or even to make them feel better. When people side with them entirely, it's alright. But when people even take a middle stance, pointing out what both sides (one side being them) said/did wrongly, they get sensitive and lash out.
They've gotten a whole lot less expressive overall, too, to the point that sometimes what they say feels constantly passive-aggressive, self-defensive, and even just ignorant. Of course, I attribute that to them getting less happy in general. They've lost the spark that they used to have, and maybe that's because they changed their personality. Even they acknowledge that they're "serious," or something like that, when they used to use words like "enthusiastic" to describe themselves. And I am okay with personalities changing.
But when one shields themselves and hurts those who try to help...that really is a problem.
I obviously can't be someone who will be able to communicate this to them. I don't have the relationship with them as a basis to do so, and I don't have the will, really, either. I know they'll probably lash back at me, and I don't want to deal with conflict unless I need to. It's just not something I'd choose to get involved in.
But what I do do is I think about it, and I realize that people change, for better or for worse. And you know, I get scared.
"Drifting apart" is actually a somewhat tame term, in my opinion, because it feels like people actually choose to not communicate with one another. It feels like it's irreversible for the most part. And if "drifting apart" is caused by personalities becoming more and more different, to the point of being incompatible, I keep thinking--
Right now, I want the best for you all, not only in what the world gives you but also in what you give to yourself. (What you give to the world is your decision and is another matter.) For instance, are you someone who is open-minded, who doesn't shy away from uncomfortable things just because they're uncomfortable (all the time)? Are you able to work through things on your own when others wouldn't be able to truly help you? Even if I don't speak it most of the time, that's what I'm thinking, kinda like some bossy sibling who thinks they know what's better for you (probably not the best, but I think I have an okay sense of judgment. I'm kinda like a faraway spectator from some part of your life, hoping I will never forget you and that you won't forget me, and hoping that you always go towards better parts of the world).
But if people drift apart and it becomes harder for them to talk to and care for each other in the first place, does that mean it's just an irreversible process? That if people cared, they would never drift away from each other...and if people didn't care, they are bound to drift away?
If so, that would be a cruel, paradoxical situation. And it would be horrible.
And in the first place, I'm kinda afraid of the change that causes that cruel paradox in the first place, something none of us really have major control over when it comes to going towards the worse.
-Galaxian-
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I've kept this thought for a while and now I'm saying it
(Why does saying that always make things feel serious? It's not)
I feel like Echo could sympathize with the female protagonist of Fate/stay night: Heaven's Feel, Matou Sakura, more than I can. By that, I mean that I feel like they would probably justify her actions more to themselves than I do. Same goes for Illyasviel von Einzbern, though maybe not as much so.
I wonder if this speculation would be correct.
It's basically because of how I see them constructing/developing characters. Those characters are developed in a way more alike to how they do it. For me, I can't relate as much, so yeah. (Tbh, I don't have a favorite Fate/stay night heroine, kinda like how I don't have a favorite "possible love interest" character from Hakuouki. I like Saitou 'cause he's, like, cool. Lol. But I can say that Sakura probably doesn't have an edge over Rin and Saber in terms of my opinion on them, but it's nothing solid/developed on my part.)
For me, both of those characters feel more detached, though it's not like I really hate them or anything. (For Illya, it's kinda like the saying in Chinese, "Those who are pitied have something to be hated." I don't always agree with it, but in this case and many others for me, it's more "Those who are hated have something to be pitied.")
-Galaxian-Seriously, one of my strongest impressions of her is her going, "Defeat her and then violate her, Berserker!" I know it was supposed to be disturbing, but geez, girl, there are people who have been through worse than you, and they don't go wanting to defile heroes who have already died the first time they meet,,,
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I rarely talk about F/sn tbh. I can talk a little about it and F/Z. Not too much, though.
The character I sympathized with most in F/Z was Kariya. Sure, he was brash, made a pretty stupid mistake...stuff like that. But he was the only one who tried to do what he did, and I think I might be biased for him because of the family he came from. I dunno why, but the people who come from the most screwed up places and end up as good people are just...they have a certain appeal to me. Anyways, he was an average man, made a pretty bad decision to participate in an event not made for an average person like him, and you know, F/Z is known for its tragedy. I hope for an AU where he did accomplish his goal. He deserved happiness.
(I got a second copy of Awakened Will as a CE yesterday. I'm keeping it for no particular reason except for the fact that he's on it, tbh.)
I feel like maybe because of me having watched SS, I probably liked UBW Shirou more than most others. Yes, HF him was more realistic, and probably less annoyingly idealistic. I hate annoyingly idealistic people for the most part. But you know, I felt like I could respect him. I don't hold much against him. But iirc, on the main Fate route, he was extremely annoying. :') Anyways, I don't particularly like him, but I also don't dislike him.
I dislike F/Z and F/sn Gilgamesh immensely. I think that I don't need to explain why, and if I do need to explain why while you have watched these two anime, then you and I have immense moral differences. Caster Gil about to murder me in the background with a book--
-Galaxian-
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Oh speaking of Specter (well technically a few posts away but you guys know I don't have any sense of coherence), I was looking at an INFJ blog thing because. Active distractions It's fun. Even if it's only coincidence most of the time. Anyways, turns out people like ENFPs for their personalities for the most part. But there were portions where I was like "Mood"
I can't quote stuff because my memory is bad, but like at one portion, it was something about ENFPs
"always" (possibly, maybe) focusing on what's most exciting/motivating for them most of the time while not seeing the merit in little little things, and I was just remembering a time where I was kinda going into the itty-bitty parts of F/DA's city/world and Specter was like, "Okay, but tbh, why do we need to go over this? Can't we leave it for later?" xD
There was also another portion where it was like "They're kinda scatterbrained" and well, my communication problems aside, Specter says "Huh" or "I don't understand" (to me) (important specification, as again, I have communication problems) a lot in my impressions lol am I wrong, @Specter? xD
-Galaxian-
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I wanna find an ENFP blog and watch their opinions on INFJs
I think I actually need it. I mean, I know some of my flaws, but I wanna know all of them. So I can improve on them--oh wait what's that hide them to a destructive level.
I also need to find an INFP blog and watch their opinions on INFJs (:
I feel like INFPs actually hide their judgment (J) inside lol
-Galaxian-
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Finished my APUSH final and panicked when I saw the score,,, then I remembered that the writing portion is actually worth a good portion of the points.
Turns out I somehow got all the multiple choice questions right lol, weird
Watch it turn out that I failed on the writing section though lol xD
-Galaxian-
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I only have two classes' finals left, technically like 1.5 because I have Physics all formatted. I'm waiting for a response from my teacher on it.
The last final is Spanish, of course, because of my immense lack of confidence regarding my Spanish, and for good reason :'P. I suck. We literally all suck. The other day (was it yesterday? lol) Echo posted about "We are All So Stupid" and I laughed because. Yep. When it comes to Spanish,,, mood.
-Galaxian-
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Man I sure wish College Board would give me my PSAT-NMSQT scores xP
-Galaxian-
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Me eating a 5-year-old Starburst to see what will happen,,, clearly I should not be taking a final now
-Galaxian-
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Idk lol it tasted pretty good to me
Or maybe I still just have my Green Apple preference.
Fun fact about me, guys. I love green apple Skittles. And green apple Dum-Dums. And green apple jolly ranchers (though I don't particularly mind what flavor of that I get). And apparently, green apple Starbursts.
Weirdly, I like red apples more when it comes to actual apples. So,,,
-Galaxian-
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Literally just found out that they canceled green apple Skittles.
...
...bruh.
I mean. I'm not that picky with candies and haven't eaten Skittles in three years anyways, but really??? xD
-Galaxian-
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Zuoshi really has a lot of potential for character dev. I've outlined my theories for him before so I won't repeat them, but to add on to his potential parallel of Dongfang Yuechu, he calls Yaya and Rongrong the same way Dongfang Yuechu called them: "Yaya jie" and "Rongrong jie" (Sister Yaya and Sister Rongrong; again, not like they're nuns, :-P)
And then for Bai Yuechu,,, his biology is a hMMmMmm.
-Galaxian-
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Character dev is character dev, but until he actually proves that he used to be good and all this wasn't his fault, I relish in seeing him beat up
-Galaxian-
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Love how donghua Rongrong clearly holds a grudge
"Beat him up! Use more force! You haven't hit this part yet!" even though it's the face of her (and Honghong's savior)
Shows how she's gotten past the point faster than Honghong. Perhaps what she later meant when she said that she has no discernible weaknesses
Anyways it's very funny because she knows it's Zuoshi lol what an older sister
-Galaxian-
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Put another healing command code on Changgong and leveled Danzou to level 80! Finally got her ascension materials.
I love the lighting in her final ascension art.
I have. So many. Assassin embers. Lol.
Second Archive is full of them and I still have so many in the main inventory.
-Galaxian-
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Wjjdjwkfjksf XD