GGaD » Galaxian's Roleplaying Thread {Version Omega}

GalaxianExplosion · November 11, 2021 02:17:38

Archer: (*tries to fight on water*)
Archer: (*has EX rank Magic Resistance and F rank luck*)
Archer, sinking like a stone: Bru--BbbBbbbB (*bubbling noises*)

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 11, 2021 16:26:05

While I was waking up, I thought today was the 15th, but now it turns out I'm 4 days off so now I'm dying a little inside because there's no way I'll actually remember by the time the 15th comes

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 11, 2021 23:28:42

F/GO Wiley: If Invincible???? Why Burn???

Every time I have to specify "Fate Wiley" or "F/GO Wiley" I die a little more inside

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 11, 2021 23:45:51

I'd have to say that the thing that In Cold Blood is helping me most with is the naming of ideas. Usually I think about a bunch of stuff, but then I don't know how to name them. Naming them helps me a lot when it comes to brainstorming and circling around the topics.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 11, 2021 23:57:32

Also, the thing I like about more nonfictional works is that it really paints the big picture. That's in contrast with one of my personal weaknesses as a writer/roleplayer, and I think one that others probably struggle with as well (when I analyze their decisions/actions).
Like yeah, we focus a lot on turning points and maybe the very general generalities (like maybe "their family was murdered in front of them" as a turning point, or they "grew up in an abusive household"), but really, it's a bunch of small details that add up, stack up together, make someone who they are, in real life. Sometimes it isn't the things that they remember.
For instance, someone who fought in a war--commonly, it's not just one moment in a battle of an entire war that traumatizes them the most. It's a bunch of things they hear, see, feel, smell, think--it all adds up. And I think that's also why trauma is so hard to get over--because there are so, so many facets of it.

Fictional characters are interesting in their own sort of way, but real people as well. If you think about it, fictional character creation is kinda like trying to understand real people through what you imagine, which means...it may not be so accurate in the end. With real people, after all, they don't divulge everything, and when they do, they might be lying, or might not remember the entire truth themselves, or whatever. (Mostly, they probably don't wanna talk about it, or they embellish it, or they paint themselves in a better light. That's just the nature of stories and human nature. When they do choose to tell it, it's for a reason--and for that reason, they "do things" to the story itself.)
I like to think that fictional characters have those qualities as well. We can't ever understand them completely. We just kinda channel them. We joke a lot about being omniscient narrators, but really, it's them giving us the privilege of knowing them, of understanding them, and of learning about them. At least, that's the case when it's a character who we seek to learn from, not just a character who we create for the sole purpose of imprinting something/some things on them that cannot be further developed.

Another facet, I think, is that we tend to focus on extremes, but in real life, one of the most horrible things about morality is that most anything can't be completely justified. Everything is in the ambiguous area--if not directly, then at least in the general sense it is. And I think that's been running into me a lot as of recent--I've really come to accept my way of thinking and that, with that acceptance, there are times when so many considerations have to be made, and so many conclusions have to be made as well. Not just one, or two, or even a few. "So many."

And if anyone's wondering about In Cold Blood, I think of it as a work that you can only read and appreciate if you already have worked on your morals to a reasonable extent. If someone went into the book without that moral development already in place, expecting the book to help them do that, I can see that going badly.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 12, 2021 00:05:14

Another thing I've been appreciating more is the "unique perspective" I bring in my works.
By "unique," I mean "my." Not "unique" as in "original." Maybe parts of it are original. But humans live on borrowed ideas for the most part. So, yeah. Mostly not original, but mostly satisfactory, still, in my own view.
I won't be discussing that "unique perspective" further, as--again, as I have been saying more frequently (to my chagrin)--I don't think others care (which is fully justified. I personally wouldn't say I care much either, when I don't think about "things" specifically). But I'm appreciating how it flows into my works a lot more, and especially the extent of it.
This isn't something I can fully explain, anyhow. But I do appreciate it. It shows up in my character creation/development, in how I communicate, in how I think about things (and then show that in my works, especially my writing/subconscious thoughts), and other such places. It's intriguing.

I was supposed to make this post a few days ago, but I wasn't feeling it. I think it might be incomplete because of that,,, or maybe more complete. Who knows. In any case, that's what I have for now.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 12, 2021 00:09:06

(This portion was actually not a part of the original idea, so separating it for future me's sake.)

But...I don't like it when too much of me goes into someone or something. There's nothing wrong with a little bias, but too much of it...well, it feels sour to me, to be honest. I feel like writer's bias is something much better when it's more vague, more mysterious...more nebulous? More indeterminate? More ambiguous? I know not how to describe it. Essentially, I think a writer's bias should be able to be determined only through more..."extensive" analysis. Not just..."Oh, Rai embodies Galaxian's morals, lol. How illogical they are, haha~" And a lot of this probably comes from the fact that characters/portions of writing that embody anything too much just seem plain awkward to me. Maybe I just don't do it well. I don't know. In any case, I'm not a fan.
It would be fun for my characters and stories to be analyzed like that one day. That's what I think. I look forward to it because I think that there are definitely biases that I don't even know I harbor that someone would find out. For someone to analyze what I've worked on...what an honor that would be, really. That always seems amazing.
Or I could just become a politician and have every single word, facial expression, and action of mine be judged depending on my supposed patriotism and moral values. But that's a lot less interesting. And it's not very sophisticated.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 12, 2021 00:11:05

Idk, it's good and all when they name a philosophy after you or make blog posts on your work and whatever, but on the other hand you also have readers being suspicious of you (Truman Capote in this case; he's the author of In Cold Blood) being "more than a friend" with a convicted murderer, so like, again, everything is kinda ambiguous and with multiple sides.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 12, 2021 22:56:17

Not embarrassed to admit it but
"Sexuality" is an incredibly misleading term and I would like something in return for all the misconceptions I have had about the term :-)))))))
And it's not like its dual meaning would be obvious either so I'd actually like a double refund :-))))))

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 13, 2021 23:28:05

Kiaane's re-intro thread but actually the Thaohals summoned Fate Kiaane, who's currently only going along with the situation for the most part because 1) they don't remember anything, and 2) most importantly, they feel the need to cause as much inconvenience as possible to the Thaohals despite not remembering anything. (Because their summoning wasn't the summoning for a "Heroic Spirit" but rather "them," but not them, it's a very flawed summoning lol.)

I kinda wish this were true, tbh.

Please note that I never said all my Heroic Spirit characters are Good (:

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 14, 2021 19:09:15

The Mamba is "OWO" for all the wrong reasons

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 16, 2021 16:36:12

Made the decision.
The answer is very much a "No."
So yeah.
I have responses to make still--and I don't mean roleplaying ones, at least not here--but nope. Not gonna make those either.
We're apparently going to not do them until we (I) forget about them, and then a few years later, I'll remember and regret my sins.

Also, I was supposed to be working on a form (somehow still had more progress on it than on Kaori's form,,, poor guy) but I got very diverted. First by art (ironically,,, I told y'all that for whatever reason, art has more appeal than writing, even though I s u c k at art) and then by homework. Yep. Complaining about homework again, ironically, before I saw that Time pointed it out (obviously now I saw he pointed it out, but I made a big ol post with complaints about school before I saw it on my homethread lol).

I can't keep track of how many characters I'm supposed to be working on at this point. So, uh, yay.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 17, 2021 14:13:56

Mind keeps reminding me that my interpretation of Hitan's age, even the chronological one, might be wrong
Noting it here because I think I know why, but I might be off/wrong.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 17, 2021 20:18:35

Random Fact of the Day (I post plenty weird facts but ignore that):
If Martin asked Kiaane to make pails for him, to play with rocks and sand and stuff, Kiaane'd be able to do that well.
Uh, because they use buckets a lot. They use it with water.
Yep. Random and weird fact of the day.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 18, 2021 23:35:31

This definitely wasn't a "The moment when you first notice something hypocritical about you that you didn't notice before," because I'm pretty sure I have (and just forgot, mostly), but how ironic it is that I like fluff more than plot but can't understand others' characters (or my own? I am not sure on this) without plot

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 19, 2021 18:38:01

Imagine if when Kiaane is confused their hair kinda floats, but only in sections
And then they look like a wild bobcat

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 21, 2021 23:15:12

I am an advocate for equality.
All ships get the same amount of trauma regardless of the genders of the individuals composing of the ship in question.

Okay I say that but the first canon LGBTQ+ ship I have here was dead before it began so like.
It's a good start.
(Sarcasm btw. In case this nearly offended someone. I take a 2-day long break or whatever and yeah the first post I make again would probably offend someone without further explanation. Very great.)

Honestly I still don't care about individuals' genders and romantic orientations and whatever when it comes to shipping. Defining those things actually becomes a headache. So yeah, kinda unorthodox as ever.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 22, 2021 16:19:27

Oh yeah, I forgot this.
As a notice, you might have noticed that I archived a lot of roleplaying threads in the private section of the forum. I actually considered archiving many more, but I did decide against that for the time being. I'll continue to ponder it.
There's really no way to say this without sounding like I'm blaming someone (singular or plural), so first I'd like to acknowledge the fact that I, in fact, also suck at getting threads responded to. Sometimes, it's intentional, because of school and such, but other times, it's just that I suck at getting threads responded to. (If you really want to be mean and want me to actually put an example out for my inability, then I'll just say the "redo plot" thread on the Scholastic forum. Yeah. I have pretty much no excuse for that. I have some inspiration for what I want to do there, but there are a lot of factors preventing me from responding there.)
And no matter how salty I can sound regarding lack of response to threads, I do understand that everyone has their lives. With those lives come struggles that they don't tell or that, maybe, I can't understand.
It's just...you know, I have this thing where I like saying what is being difficult for me because I expect the same from others. That's my supposed "ideal" sort of communication. But then there's that thing (lol ikr, great description skills here) where I'm actually not a good person to talk to when it comes to actually solving problems (for various reasons, including how my empathy does not match up with my ability to help others as well as lack of time to listen and work through problems--both those of others and those for myself--and etc.) And even I understand that others don't want to listen to negative things all the time. I've been trying to show that awareness more, by posting less negative things, keeping that all to myself. And I reckon that sort of thing is why others don't talk about their struggles that much, either.
But then I have this stupid hypocritical trait of mine where when others don't respond and don't say why, and plus other considerations that I have (this is crucial; I can presume better without these considerations, but this factor is what makes the trait come out), I start presuming the worse and worst. "I don't think they care about me, and I don't think they should." "I think I should disappear from their life during this time. It's a good opportunity. I don't deserve to have them in my life, and they didn't do anything to deserve having someone like me in theirs." "This was never going to get anywhere. I might as well stop it in its tracks before I care more and get disappointed more." Things like that.
There really isn't a conclusion to this post. There also isn't anything that you guys have to say in response to this. I know that I'm someone who's hard to deal with. I have many more flaws than I have strengths, and though I'm working on them, I don't think I'll ever be a "good person." Still, it's not like I'm complete trash or something; I do have redeeming traits. But it's hard for me to really show that, I think--both to others and to myself. And at this point, I can't tell which is more important.
Will I drop out of the roleplay at some point? In terms of mindset, it wouldn't be all that unlikely. I have a fickle personality and approach to problems that, in all truth, probably isn't all that healthy. But I still do retain enthusiasm for the roleplay, even if I can't really channel that enthusiasm correctly anymore; and most of all, I don't think I could ever leave, truly, because I have great attachment to places and people. Like I said on the old forums, I don't think I'd leave even if everyone else did. If nothing else, I think I can at least say that.
All in all, sorry. I really do hope that you all get the best. I'm just not sure at this point in time what role I should play and what I should do.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 23, 2021 13:28:11

Drawing Akuma's prototype design be like
"Oh no he's hot"
~~"Hot" makes me cringe tbh but it's the meme and altering it probably would ruin something~~

Fun fact, it's because I didn't actually know who its host was when I submitted its form (I knew personality but not really design so the design went off Akuma instead of the host, essentially)

Why am I so good at drawing bastard expressions

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 23, 2021 17:08:19

Just realized, the description I put for HYXHN!Kiaane is pretty similar to the "暗月守卫" in canon. Could that have been what they were training for?
You gotta admit, 暗月守卫 Kiaane sounds pretty cool.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 23, 2021 17:16:10

Other yaoguai in Huyao Xiao Hongniang, seeing Kiaane: Dang, that is one cool looking dude
Kiaane under the mask: (*the very definition of "一脸懵逼"*)

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 24, 2021 01:09:49

I identify spiritually with the author of Huyao Xiao Hongniang

Xiaoxin (said author): I'll try not to make their ending too tragic
Also Xiaoxin: (*makes the guy watch his beloved live her entire life out with another guy and die*)

Me: I'll try not to beat my characters into a hole
Also me: (*makes happy endings essentially impossible the more development I put into a character*)

Extreme cynicism? Maybe.
But more likely it's "just" the fact that I don't want to make evil characters too easy as obstacles,,, now they're all freaking OP,,, I went the opposite way of the spectrum to an extreme extent,,,,,,

My characters: ,,,

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 25, 2021 17:24:20

Randomly remembered planning about Kiaane and Poff
I never actually thought too in-depth with it because of Chan's inactivity but hmmm.
Specifically, I've been thinking about what could have happened, because I'm not exactly sure about Kiaan's opinion on what they show others in regards to their abilities, but I doubt it's anywhere as complicated as I'm making it seem in my mind.

I also have other things I think my mind is thinking about, but it isn't letting me know what those things are lol

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 26, 2021 00:26:46

Came on here with some thoughts but forgot all of them as soon as I opened the tab,,, again,,,

Well I guess here's some spontaneous thought. I wonder if Thanksgiving exists in GGaD, and if so, what its origins would be. And if it does exist, I wonder if the Thaohals celebrate it, and how.
Really, it feels to me that that the Thaohals don't celebrate holidays genuinely. They just do it to...remind the guild who's boss, pretend like everyone's together, stuff like that. I feel like they'd celebrate the founding of the guild by someone-or-another (idk who the founder is lol)--that's more certain.
If they do celebrate Thanksgiving, I feel like it'd be real fake for anyone who actually knows what's going on, lol.

Kiaane's allergic to turkey, which makes me feel like I'd prefer if it didn't exist. But I do headcanon (and it's canon on my end) that Thanksgiving exists in the time the Modern Sect exists in...so yeah.

R.I.P., I still can't think of the actual thoughts I had in mind when I wanted to make this post.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 26, 2021 20:15:39

I am off theoretical break! Time to go write stuff and immediately give up. (Just kidding,,, I actually need to organize some school stuff first,,, lol.)
You know, I also have characters I need to finish. They exist but their forms...lol.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 27, 2021 17:53:42

R.I.P. forms
Hey, writing efficiency back somewhat.
Writing quality, though? Nah. We don't do that here.
Playing F/GO while writing because waiting times long lol. You can't blame me for my super efficiency ;)

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 27, 2021 18:35:45

I might be missing some Servants but
If a Servant is a masochist, wouldn't that mean that when they're hit by an attack (or an NP), they'd smile and laugh instead of making an expression of agony/suffering/anger that other Servants make?
Like I headcanon that Akuma (who isn't actually a masochist, as it can't actually feel pain, it just pretends to, so it's more of a sadist, and even that label is weird) would laugh while taking NP damage (I hope it's banned from F/GO's world btw) rather than flinching or anything like that.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 28, 2021 01:24:40

I've been considering giving Anima a spray bottle with "Wiley exorciser" (yes, "exorciser," not "exorcist") labeled on it. For preemptive safety measures.

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 29, 2021 13:26:12

Me drawing characters be like: I could tell you that "they're" cisgender and you still wouldn't be able to tell what gender they are

-Galaxian-

GalaxianExplosion · November 29, 2021 21:17:20

I wonder if Hitan says that he was an ex-soldier to his students tbh
I wanna make that canon so it's ironic
I mean, it would make sense, wouldn't it? Or at least it would justify him lowkey breaking down in front of his class after he goes past his limits on certain topics. And also, he can fight and is quite disciplined.
I see nothing too obviously wrong with the lie. Other than that he looks literally unblemished physically. Lol.

-Galaxian-