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It's weird because I feel like GGaD!Sunny looks older than F/DA!Sunny and despite not really having any evidence of such (GGaD!Sunny is hard to draw,,, I mean yeah I can draw him but I can't draw him well), my mind feels pretty settled into this conclusion.
Also my mind keeps imagining F/DA!Sunny with his hair let down (which isn't problematic. In fact, I welcome this) but at the same time it keeps imagining the weirdest hairstyles for GGaD!Sunny. While I understand and empathize with a bias towards F/DA!Sunny, it's becoming distracting, so @Mind please stop.
-Galaxian-
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Sorry for spamming here. Right now my mind's full of ideas and once in a while it lets me know one or two, so I write it down here or on a document.
Right now I think I'm preoccupied over F/DA and the notion of someone being someone's childhood hero
That would be more likely for Saber and Berserker and completely unlikely for Archer while being somewhat possible for Rider
Thinking about Helge is weird
Uhhh.
Yep.
Thinking about him is weird.
Not in a necessarily bad way.
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Today Galaxian went to their little document (actually little now, since it used to at least 60 pages,,, which they still have to archive. Yippee. Now it's only 3 pages and it's been a week lol) to write down a fact on HPA!Sunny, but as soon as the document actually loaded, their mind blanked. Like, legit, it just...blanked. So they sat there for 2 minutes trying to figure out what the heck they were supposed to be thinking
It was literally so obvious lol, like I'd even applied the fact in dialogue lmiao, I just forgot it right after opening the document
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I kinda miss Rai acting like the below (yes, the "below" lol) so yeah here
Forum!Rai has a mental timer of 5 minutes, where if he doesn't hear Forum!Hitan or Forum!Galaxian (well, others too, but mostly these two) and this timer goes off, he goes downstairs with a gun ready for things he can't take on
Also random fact that I don't know if I've brought up or not but I can only imagine Rai with one singular gun most of the time. If he takes out double guns then,,, ig I'd be very worried/concerned
And another fact, the dude has pranked Wiley before with the gum that'll shock you when you pull on it. Rai did a power move where he just left it out in the open and Wiley shocked himself. Wiles still has some trust issues from that
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I can imagine forum!Rai carrying Hitan and Galaxian on his shoulders and running because someone said to take the most precious things and run
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On CC there was an incorrect quote on Rai about vegetables being a myth and I said "Whyatt and Rai need to meet"
Yeah...so Rai can try to beat the heck out of him for what he helped do to Hitan, not so they can debate the merits (or lack thereof?) of vegetables,,,
Was the Hh plot active back then? Because if I said they needed to meet just for vegetables, I was a sadly naive child
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Woke up (after sleeping for 15 hours,,, still tired lol I am a perpetually exhausted pigeon) feeling like I wanted to impale Akuma again
So that's great.
-Galaxian-
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I had like 3 dreams and I'm pretty sure I now have 5 new characters I need to work on as well as needing to record the dreams down
Dang it lol
-Galaxian-
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Why is Akuma so in-character in dreams? It doesn't make sense
Also R.I.P. Hitan, why can't I ever have a dream that's pure fluff for him without any causes of major mental distress?
-Galaxian-
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Also, ALSO, AKUMA APPEARED IN THE FORM OF POSSESSING KAORI AND I SPITE IT MUCH MORE THAN USUAL FOR THAT.
I mean, last time it did that too, but Kaori's features weren't accurate. This time, they were .And also I had to deal with them for the duration of the dream (a very long one). The other time, it was like the last scene of the last cutscene, and Hitan wasn't truly there. This time, Hitan's characterization in the dream (I was in his perspective again) was more accurate as well.
-Galaxian-
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We also are not gonna talk about their physical ages and what Akuma freaking did
Hitan took it in stride but I, having the privilege of knowing it was a dream (somewhat; when I think too much about it, I exit the dream oof), was seething the entire time
Unfortunately, I wanted to impale the darn demon, but Hitan didn't, so yeah, unfortunate.
-Galaxian-
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Yesterday night I was just minding my own business when my mind said, "Hey, y'know, forum!Galaxian is "perpetually 7" because in the Gold Saints' eyes, he'd be 7. You know why? Because when they were 7, they had the chubby face he has, and then when they were 10, they suddenly looked all grown up. Because he's 10 and doesn't look like they did, they'd figure that he's still 7."
Seriously, Shura, Aphrodite, Deathmask, and even Milo in Saintia Sho show this fact very well lol. And you can't tell me that Saga and Aiolos were 14 because they were not
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(If they took Calculus, presumably in college)
Wiley: Absolute math genius. Can do this stuff in his head. Also knows how to apply them, but he's not particularly interested in that for the most part. Shows up for test day(s) and never shows up otherwise. No one knows what he actually does outside of the courses, but again, no one can actually persecute him for that. He only has two (major?) problems. One, when he has to explain stuff, he somehow explains it in slang, which is typically not looked upon fondly by those who grade the exams. Two, his work is absolutely incomprehensible. Truly, two very big problems.
Rai: Also very good at math/calculus but in a way where others can't say he's cheating. Mostly interested in how to apply it in technology and stuff. Work is hecking neat. Everything is structured on his papers, but he actually prefers technology alternatives. Finishes the test first but turns it in last because of Reasons. Attends class whenever he can just for the sake of attendance, even though sometimes he gets a little distracted during it. Really likes using calculators even though he doesn't need to. He programmed and designed the calculator, by the way. Explains stuff on tests well, but not as well as he would like. Could possibly teach the course. (He'd rather leave that to Hitan if it ever comes to that.) Also, he technically prefers digital courses or self-teaching.
Raez: Would be good at it, but his mind wanders. Makes stupid mistakes on stuff (e.g. technically getting the answer but writing down the answer for another component that isn't being asked for). Performance depends on what he ate for breakfast before going to class. (He always attends class, by the way.) Only gets how to apply the concepts when he gets examples. Theorems are the bane of his existence as he always gets them switched up. Also, can't talk formally in a natural manner as soon as it comes to tests, for some reason. Overexplains on tests and can't really answer teachers' questions. Mind wanders during virtual classes. Uses his calculator when he needs to and tries not to use it. It's been in brand-new condition for years. (He will get you if you drop it.) It has a name.
Also, since I brought him up:
Hitan: Genius in general who doesn't ever speak up in class on his own volition in fears of embarrassing/overriding others. Talks too long when he's asked to talk. Overexplains everything but not to the point where stuff is extraneous/unneeded. Could probably teach the course. He goes to class because he feels like it but would most likely do just as well if he taught himself. Has no preference between in-person or virtual classes, though. His calculator has a cute sticker and he's named it. It's friends with Raez's calculator. He never actually uses it.
-Galaxian-
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Lol I just imagined Rai and Dion trying to speedrun a game with RNG and it's just really bad and then Wiley comes and somehow it gets worse (E). They collectively give up and go eat something lol
-Galaxian-
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Can't understand how others add new things to their to-do lists when they already have priorities
Or does that mean they're shifting priorities? Maybe a little to the other side? Kinda interesting.
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I have 10 days to make a decision and you can bet I'll be wrestling with the two sides of my mind's decision-making components, rationality and emotionality, as I make the decision.
And then end up going by impulse in the end, which is probably why I tested for the "F" (feeling) part in the Myer-Briggs test even though I don't go by it completely.
If I can override a certain rationale, the decision will be "No." If I can't, then...well, it'll be yes, unfortunately or less unfortunately.
The best thing about this is that whatever choice I make, either my heart will hurt or my heart will hurt, so yeah.
-Galaxian-
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Here is a vague comparison for future reference (and confusion). All second-person pronouns are directed towards me.
Rationale against "Yes"/for "No":
-"Yes" is just purely inefficient, going off of personal details as well as past clues. Or even present clues.
-You Are So Bad At This Sort of Thing (TM)
Rationale against "No"/for "Yes":
-The decision would not make sense without "filling in the hole," which fortunately is something I specialize in! I don't particularly like doing it, but that's how one must operate when their thinking is full of flaws.
-Less interactions; thus, less establishment of relevant detail.
-Everyone should know that without a "Yes," this idea will be rendered irrelevant forever. Or at least for 3 years.
-Making this decision would not make sense if you don't make decisions of the same scale elsewhere, as they have essentially the exact circumstances. And you don't wish to be too hypocritical, no?
-I think you're just being an insensitive bastard.
Sentiments against "No"/for "Yes":
-Contrary to (my) popular impression, I do like positive additions.
-I was very excited about this for two months straight. That is a long time for excitement to last for, for someone like me.
Sentiments against "Yes"/for "No":
-Impulses, impulses. I am not feeling well about using "Yes" at the moment.
-I do not want to continue to be impacted as I am right now.
-It's more likely to help my mental health.
-Galaxian-
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The idea that how one walks is an indicator of personality is interesting, but then Wiley verbalizes, "wiggle woggle" and it becomes 10 times less serious.
-Galaxian-
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Wiley, applying frozen yogurt lipstick:
Raez, staring into the void:
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Ngl I see Rai as a good character
Proud of me
But mostly proud of him.
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By virtue of insanity, I'm re-reading old threads instead of doing my work
----
CC!Rai: (*nearly shot*)
CC!Hitan and CC!Galaxian, despite only knowing him for like a month: nope
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This thread was a rare one where the fluff was better than the plot by like 16 times.
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CC!Rai's relationship with Quinn was funny because it started off as "Hey Fallon do you think they'd know each other from work," and then suddenly the relationship turned out to be they were year-long friends with a sort of unique vibe and idk. Worked out fine imo.
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I keep wanting to say that "CC!Rai was the most emotional he's ever been," but really it was more that his emotions could be guided out more easily. He knew Quinn and Frank for longer than he has Wiley and Raez (in GGaD), so he was bound to care more. And also, he's more "mortal" in that sense in CC.
We all know that he would still "yell at" someone he cares for if he feels the need to.
-Galaxian-
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That one public thread that I keep not archiving is because I'm not sure whether to continue it or not, like yeah I could if others wanted, but like, should I?
Also very aware that I have a thread still unresponded to here, but I mean I don't really get satisfactory/timely responses there (neither do I prove any, though, so mood), so my motivation is zero. I don't really have the time to type it out, anyways. I don't know what I should do there.
Same goes for the redo plot thread. Don't really know how to coordinate that.
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You know, for me, loneliness is a strange thing. It doesn't actually hit usually, and I think its meaning is different from my interpretation. "Loneliness" always hits with anxiety, and for me, its meaning has been molded by that, because I can't see loneliness being separated from that anxiousness.
For me, loneliness isn't "not having someone nearby." It's "not having anyone who would help." They don't want to help and/or they can't help. I can't tell which is worse.
It's not the state of "not having family or friends" usually, but rather the state of "realizing that you have no one who can help other than yourself." As such: Anxiety.
That's why my Main Three can be defined as alone in my eyes.
Rai is the least alone from first glance because his loneliness is typically out of choice. His loneliness doesn't come from lack of friends--he's fine with having like only five at most--but it comes out of his situation being one where only he can get himself out.
Galaxian is "alone" because despite others helping him, or trying to, even he cannot help himself, not to mention them. He doesn't want others to help and cannot help himself even if he wants to.
Hitan has that loneliness because he can't be anything other than that. He has a few friends, but they can't actually be friends. Anything resembling normal is actually false. No one can help him, and he can help no one. The only one he can rely on is himself, and in the end, perhaps he's also like Galaxian--the possibility that he can't do anything in the end is the most real one.
Companionship means nothing if you're still trying to find what you're living for, but likely, it means even less if what you're living for in the first place could be ended any day.
Nagesh and Kiaane are ironically united by this theme, because they both are rather solitary individuals. Kiaane is a lonely someone because although they can be surrounded by "family" and could perhaps have a few friends, there's no one who would help them. Is there anyone who wants to? Who knows. It's not something they dwell on, but the fact is there.
Nagesh is a solitary someone because he has friends and once had family, but he is the one who can do things that they can't. By being more powerful than them, his limits hit especially harder.
Xuqiao is similar to Nagesh in that sense. He still has his brother and some "friends" remaining, but he's the one with the most "ability"--as in the ability to perhaps cause change. When his powerlessness is shown, it means more than the powerlessness of others.
In works like Saint Seiya, the strongest seem to rally together to support one another. I find that more often, those who are strongest are instead forced to be the most lonely. There is no one who can help them, and they have to help others to an unreasonable extent because of their abilities. Sometimes, their efforts aren't even appreciated enough, if at all.
Food for thought.
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I didn't actually realize this before, but I'm finding it much more fun to lurk than to, y'know, stay here while logged in.
I'm imagining future me narrating, "And that's when they started going inactive."
-Galaxian-
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Fictional characters: (*can't do something like saving the world*)
Fictional characters, angsting: This existence was worthless all along, I should have never tried
Failure is part of life, buds. Especially when your objective is something huge and you have a bunch of obstacles in front of you. Don't think badly about yourself when you can't do something. Just try again.
And if the goal is unrealistic, then alter it. Don't just stick to an unattainable one forever. You can always get to it later.
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In real life, I imagine Kiaane would be the kind of person who kinda looks sour/bitter, but when they smile the world becomes better by like a hundredfold because of how gorgeous their smile is
None of us deserve their smile lol
My favorite challenge IRL is cracking jokes until someone like that has to smile
-Galaxian-