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Me: *listens to sea shanties while doing work *
My mind: Instead of focusing, we are now going to imagine scenes for the unstarted fantasy AU
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Forums! Echo needs a hug, I am literally about to cry over her
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I swear I plan to continue writing Forums!Echo's backstory,,,
Wnhfjwjcjskf I have the plot in my head, I just don't know if I should POV it as memories or not or where I should start lol
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Why is Malaika so dang pretty wjdjwjjcjsjdjf
I think I might base HPA!Malaika's personality switch thing similar to Genocider Syo/DR Toko's personality switch but with a little less of the Serial Killing and more of an Occultish vibe. I mean, the other personality will def try to sacrifice someone or will do really Messed Up things (like carving into her legs with a knife type stuff for "ancient offerings")
I think the other personality tries to contact ancient gods for destruction purposes/"to bring what humanity really deserves" while Malaika herself tries to contact ancient gods to try to bring protection and bless humanity with the hopes it gets better
Idk lol, it's mostly just a concept and I also need to look more into the actual mental disorder
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To add some stuff about HPA!Malaika's mental disorder and mental state and how it effects her:
-She has insomnia
-Her main trigger that causes her to dissociate into the other personality is being in complete darkness for more than about thirty minutes (this time range will probably shorten throughout RP or I will make it shorter instead of having it be half and hour). As well as if an adult is violent towards her, she has the risk of dissociation, and as well as being submerged completely underwater (like in a pool) can cause her to switch
-She sleeps with her lights on
-Malaika is very embarrassed/ashamed of having this disorder, even though it's not her fault for it developing. She noticeably gets uncomfortable when the topic of mental disorders gets brought up
-Malaika's other personality developed after her parents beat her, forced her to drink water until she threw up and nearly drowned, and locked her in the trunk of a car as punishments for minor things. The personality was a way for Malaika to project her hatred towards humanity for no one saving her and how all she had was herself, which eventually developed into the dissociation identity disorder
-Malaika a lot of times will refuse to eat due to her parents forcing a self-destructive mindset into her. She is self-conscious about her body and weight, and even times will comment that she's "too tall that no boys would ever want to date her" or "not skinny enough to be pretty". She over-compliments other girls her age, and will wish to look like them
- Malaika will noticeably blank out during discussions
- Malaika has no memory of what happens when the other personality changes, nor does she realize that she switched until someone tells her. For Malaika, she thinks she fell asleep, and she forgets about two hours of what happened before she switched
-The other personality is destructive of herself and carves into her skin. The other personality is somewhat similar to Malaika, but often drops condescending remarks and criticism towards the people around her.
-The other personality rambles a lot about how the gods should destroy the earth and its inhabitants, as well as how humans don't deserve the right to live. She will suggest human sacrifice and will be quite touchy to the people around her, often grabbing others' arms/wrists, and touching their faces.
-Malaika is self-conscious about her voice due to her parents constant criticism of it. She likes to sing and hum, but will visibly get extremely upset if someone tells her to be quiet or that her voice is annoying. To be honest, she would actually cry if you told Malaika her voice is bad
-Malaika wears long sleeves and skirts to hide the cuts the other personality made, as well as cuts she made herself
-Some of the cuts were made for religious purposes, but most of them aren't
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Also HPA!Malaika's parents would burn her fingers with matches if she played her instruments wrong
Wheeee
I'm thinking about more stuff I can add to HPA!Echo's backstory as well (:
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HPA!Alma's mom is sick a lot, which is one of the reasons Alma continues to work really hard. His talent came from his obsession with musicals his mother would take him to when he was little, and Alma remembers seeing his mom so happy at the end of the musicals that he wanted to continue seeing her smile like that. When he was around eight, her health started declining so they couldn't go places. Alma would perform small skits and songs that he made as a way to make up for not being able to go see musicals anymore. With support and encouragement from his mom, Alma was able to write a bunch of musicals as he started getting older and with some luck, Alma's mom was able to get the local theater company to allow Alma to direct his own musical. The show became such a hit that he was wanted by multiple theater companies and he got really popular in the theater community, eventually rising up to the title of the Ultimate Theater Director
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Me, giving HPA!Alma a wholesome backstory:
Me @HPA!Echo, Malaika, and Silence: N o
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It's kinda funny but not really of how HPA is suppose to be fun and nice but then I'm over here like "Okay, but sad backstories" but tbh I'm praying that most of the interactions will be funny and light-hearted and nice in-RP, like PLEASE these children need LOVE
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Ah, Yes, HPASilence, the Ultimate Jerk Until You Actually Get To Know Them
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Ah, yes, HPA!Silence, the Ultimate Will Murder You If You Look At Echo The Wrong Way
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HPA!Alois exists in my mind and he and Alma are actual cousins that live close to each other. HPA!Alois is the Ultimate Lawyer owo
He doesn't have much backstory atm lol
Since HPA!Silence has no documentation or evidence of being alive, like seriously none of the governments have anything about them and their existence, I feel like they would joke about being a figment of everyone else's imaginations or not being real lol
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Idk why but HPA!Silence in the back of my head keeps screaming "I COMMIT WAR CRIMES" like qjjdjwkr what?
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I feel like HPA!Malaika wears golden eyeshadow and shiny lip gloss tbh she has that kind of aesthetic
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Adding onto Malaika's personality disorder, I, for some dang reason, drew this out because I guess I'm a messed up person lol. I'm mostly showing it because I'm lowkey proud of how I sketched most of it out in pen (I only got the bust done with pencil and then I ran out of lead)
Anyway, blood warning
Yee
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More HPA!Malaika stuff
-Her other personality almost killed her parents
-Malaika was disowned shortly after this and lives on her own
-Malaika other personality has tried to sacrifice others, but only tries to do this at night. It is unknown if she has succeeded, but people have gone missing around times Malaika dissociated
-Malaika carries around small knives and at least one sacrificial knife made completely out of amethyst. She does this for self-protection/to make her feel secure
-Malaika is really good at violin and piano. Like, wow, how is she not the Ultimate Musician?
-Malaika sucks at math but is extremely talented in writing
-Malaika secretly has a stuffed teddy bear that she talks to when she's at her apartment. It's really old and named "Angie". It helps her not feel as lonely. She doesn't exactly see her cult as friends, but more like her own students, and she doesn't have any family. She, before joining Hope's Peak, basically has no friends due to her parents not allowing her to socialize and growing up kids her age were either scared of her due to her family's ranking in the cult
-Malaika grew up in the cult she now leads
-Malaika is terrified of fire and will have panic attacks if someone holds matches or sparklers near her
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I am now sad because I'm making the topic sad by angst and honestly it would be great if my depressed, dumbass mind would come up with something nice for once instead of coming up with sadness
Hmph
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-HPA!Malaika's favourite foods are angel food cake, pineapple upside down cake, shrimp scampi, and apple juice
-Her least favourite foods are cooked spinach (fresh is fine) and mangos
-Malaika can sing Christine's parts of Phantom of the Opera songs really well that Alma would cast her as Christine given the chance that he could do that musical. Malaika lowkey has a relationship goal in which she and her future boyfriend (if she ever gets one lmao) sing duets from that musical
-Malaika favourite animal are flamingos
-Malaika's favourite colour is gold
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I think Alma would call his possible future girlfriend/wife "my love" or "dearest" and I qnfjjwjfkwkfkekemgwjkwjjfkwke yes
Tbh I associate "sweetheart" too much with what his mother would call him so to me it would be weird and uncomfortable for him to call his significant other sweetheart or for his SO to call him sweetheart. Tbh sweetheart seems like what he would call his "children" aka most of my other OCs. Tbh I can see Alma being a lot like his mom
Going back to romance, Alma hates the idea of being called/using "baby" and "bae". "Babe" is okay but on thin freaking ice. "Sugar" and "Honey" is good in his opinion but he doesn't use them often unless in the kitchen cooking (because he finds it funny)
Alma only uses "Oh, the love of my life and the sweet song of the birds. The twinkle of the stars and the beautiful gold of the sunsets~" if he wants food (like french fries) from his SO or if he's being dramatically affectionate
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Imagining Alma in romance and stuff kills me (in a good way) because he's such a good person and I just wndjqjfk also his fluster transfers over to me and I'm like wjhfjwkfkwkf
Idk lol it's nice to imagine nice scenes
Moving on from romance, I wanna draw Francis painting owo
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Alois but every time someone throws something you can see the pain in his eyes as he forces himself to not chase after it
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Alma, playing with his puppies: *Notices Alois staring*
Alma: "Do you... do you want to chase the... ball?"
Alois:
Alois: dON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK
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I wonder if the Garlic Bread Bois like bowling
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My mind: "Society is built on cooperation and using our skills to better the world for everyone else. Forums!Echo is an example of the self-destruction that is taught from 'survival of the fittest' VS the natural want to help, be around, and protect others, how both can't coexist in one person. She shows the effects of what 'survival of the fittest' had on her through her want to do everything by herself, to deal with her own problems without any help. She thinks if she allows people to get close, she will be seen as weak and therefore a burden. Her natural want to help and protect others is shown through her self-isolation, thinking that she is the root of most, if not every, problem around her. If she is not there, she won't be a burden, therefore helping the people around her. As well, she believes she is protecting everyone from herself/Octave. She wishes to be around others and have the companionship of friends and family, but her idea of protecting everyone else overrides her own needs and wants."
Me RPing Echo: "UhhhH... Idk she's crying now."
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I decided that Octave looks like Forums!Echo except that her hair and eyes change. That's it. Iirc the horns were originally supposed to represent something but I don't remember anything so screw that lol
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Forums!Echo in a dress Forums!Echo in a dress FORUMS!ECHO IN A DRESS FORUMS!ECHO IN A DRESS FORUMS!ECHO IN A DRESS-
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Rocks: *exist*
Any and every version of Echo: hOLY HECK, GIMME *grabby hands*
Lol any version of Echo would take a nice rock as a gift, including myself uwu
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I feel like most versions of Echo would cry upon being given a gift in general
Mostly GGaD!, SF!, and HPA! would cry
Give them love and rocks
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Here are some habits I do that Imma add to my OCs (wbjfjwkf as if I already don't do that lmao)
Francis, Alma, and Echo are the type of people that if they hit their arm/leg/shoulder/ect on something then they would need to hit their other arm/leg/shoulder/ect to feel okay
Alma, GGaD!Echo, and SF!Echo rock back and forth while eating and feel bad inside if they don't have at least one leg bouncing up and down while sitting. SF!Echo had commented at one point that she "Feels like stabbing herself if she doesn't bounce her leg"
Alma, Alois, and GGaD!Echo both make animal noises when bored
Francis draws on his arms and hands with pen
Silence sings/hums themself to sleep
Apollo hits his head off of things randomly, usually wire fencing, mattresses, and walls
Francis takes his sandwiches apart to eat them, and as well eats things/parts of food from his least favorite to favourite. Alma does the latter as well
Alois and Alma both rub fabric on their lips to fully feel the texture because their fingers don't feel things very well
Echo headbutts people to show affection
Francis and Solaris both put the side of pages and metal devices under their fingernails
Solaris taps their fingers and knuckles while waiting, bored, or nervous
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Alma rubs his eyes, ears, and face when anxious or having a sensory overload
Alma was the kind of kid who learned how to force blood to rush to his ears so he could "hear the thunder in his head"