Galaxian: ...what are you doing?
Koku: Oh, don't mind me. I'm just predating.
Fallon: He predates.
Koku: Sometimes a man's got to predate.

The A.A.: I know more than you can imagine. Yet you know nothing of me. There’s not a thing you could say that could affect me.
Rai: Yeah? How about this… I think you’re a good person.
The A.A.: (Stunned) … care to run that by me again?
Rai: I think you’re a good person who tried to do something really good and it didn’t work out. And you know what? That’s probably why you hate us. You take one look at me, Wiley and the others and you see what you could have had, or what should have happened to you.
The A.A.: (Visibly restraining themself) I’m feeling a very complicated version of hatred right now.

The Mamba: Are you a serial killer? :D
Sunny: I'm a high school student.
The Mamba:  That's much less interesting.

Wiley: My living room! You broke my house. 
Raez.: I saw a spider, so I threw a table at it. It survived, so I threw a cabinet. This continued, the spider escaped. I assure you I mean to track it down.

Nagesh: We all meet bullcrap tragic endings because the human condition reacts more viscerally to negative environmental changes. No one likes the heroes who got off scot free.

Whoever brought Galaxian into the world: Hey, world? I brought an innocent lamb to be emotionally slaughtered!

Nagesh: There! No emotional crisis, no death-bed confessions; just one hero brutally slaying another, as the gods intended!

GalaxianExplosion wrote:

Whoever brought Galaxian into the world: Hey, world? I brought an innocent lamb to be emotionally slaughtered!

No.
Just no.

Anyone: I really don't have friends.
Galaxian: Bold words for someone within hugging range.

Sunny, to Sollux: No, no, I'm listening. Sorry, it just takes me a minute to process so much stupid at once.

Raez, talking to Anima: A good guy will give you flowers.
Wiley: But a better guy will also eat them for you.

Hitan, pointing to Akuma: Permission to punch it in the face?
The Narrator: Permission denied. Reluctantly.

Hitan: Let's be more than friends.
Helen: Best friends?
Hitan: No, even more than that.
Helen:
Helen: Mega best friends?

The Raccoon: How're you feeling?
The A.A.: I have a headache that comes and goes.
The Cheetah and the Mamba: (*enter the room*)
The A.A.: Ah, there it is.

Wiley: Are you talking to yourself?
Rai, after about like 500 puns: Yes, it just so happens that it's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation.

Benigno: I've got nothing to live for and I drive like it.
-Later, in the car-
Everyone: (*screaming*)

*Notable exhale*

Mamba: Aren't you coming with me?
A.A.: What am I, your dad?
A.A.: Here's your lunch. I'll come for you at five.

Wiley: You can't even make an omelette without setting your own oven on fire!
Rai: ...Something tells me that's not how the saying goes.

Sunny, on Twitter: I've been told by Kenyon that I'm too negative and hostile towards my own cousin.
Sunny: So, August, if you are reading this and have ever been offended by my tweets before, I humbly apologize. I honestly never thought you could read.

GGaD Characters as Things My Roommates and I Have Said (Sophomore Year Edition)
Specter: There’s a keyboard but it doesn’t work!! What’s the point?! … oh, wait. Nevermind. Didn’t turn it on.
Anima: *on the phone* Tell then I’m thriving, I only cry once a day!
Shiloh: *about another roommate* Straight up, if we killed the dude, no one would care. Plus, we could have more shelf space. No consequences.
Wiley:*at the planetarium* Woah, woah! Don’t touch me! I need my… space! *proceeds to laugh at own joke for 45 minutes*
Kako: I’m now going to demonstrate the magic trick of hiding under my covers until life stops being mean to me.
Raez: When the RAs come in for room check, I want everyone to stand on this table and chant “Spaghetti!” It won’t do anything, I just think it would be memorable.
Galaxian: There’s a bee in here and I’m just really concerned. We’re in the basement. There’s no windows. How is it here?! Is it okay?!
Iollan: Interview with (Professor) went badly because he asked what I was talented at or liked to do and I couldn’t think of a single thing besides vine compilations.
Rai: *gesturing to vacuum cleaner* We’re going to call him Mr. Sucky and thank him for his service.
Syd: Unfortunately, the window is not high enough to fall from and die instead of being in this conversation. I checked.

Rai: I need to get out of here! My evil nemesis is going to kill my- my Anima! And she’s all unsuspecting and defenseless and…and…and Animaish!

The A.A., to the Mamba: When you turn 18, people are gonna try and tell you to buy drugs or cigarettes because you can. No. You know what else is legal to buy at 18? Blades. Get yourself a sword. A big knife is also okay.

Rai worring for Anima is hhhhhhHHhhHHHH y e s

It's funny when you know where that's from xDD

[At Disneyland, in the teacups]
Rai and Dion: [spinning a little and talking]
Wiley and Raez: [fly past them spinning as fast as they can, screaming]

That's so accurate I'm wheezing

Dion: Without ugly in this universe, there would be nothing beautiful.
Wiley, as a joke: Thank you for your sacrifice.
Dion, who doesn’t realize it’s a joke: 

Orphos: Did you know that the food you eat becomes energy? *punches the air* Boom! That’s spaghetti *punches air some more* nachos! *jumps and kicks air!* and that’s a cookie!
Eglantine: *looks into camera* that’s my husband

Wiley at 2 A.M.: You can say “have a nice day” without a problem but you can’t say “enjoy the next 24 hours” without sounding vaguely threatening.
Raez: Why did you wake me up to say this

Some random dude: Come with me.
Iollan: My dad told me not follow strangers.
Random dude: How old are you?
Iollan: Sixteen
Random dude: If you’re sixteen then you should be able to make your own decisions.
Iollan: You’re right. I should make my own decisions.
Random dude: Exactly.
Iollan: I’ve decided not to follow strangers

Wiley: Rai, want to fight?
Rai: No, but we never do what I want.

Rai: Oh, what's this?
Raez: None of your business.
Rai: "None of your business"? The most enticing words a person can say. Raez, I will not leave your side until there are no secrets between us.

Benigno: Why do you celebrate Christmas? I thought you didn't believe in God
Baldr: Why do you celebrate Valentine's Day? I thought nobody liked you

Galaxian: that's not fair!
Mystery person: LIFE isn't fair!
Galaxian: Life isn't a conscious being that makes deliberate choices within a personal moral framework and a socially constructed value system. You, on the other hand, as a human being acting consciously and non-randomly within both of those frameworks, should be able to come to a conclusion based on reasonable moral standards about what the most equitable and respectful course of action is in any given circumstance, and act accordingly. it is especially incumbent upon you to do so if you are in a position of authority or otherwise have greater ability to determine the outcome of a situation than those who will be most affected by it.
Mystery person: what
Galaxian: I said you're full of crap

((Biting one's own thumb is like the Victorian equivalent of showing someone your middle finger. Also I combined them because Aereon's not a man, Ignas wouldn't say anything like that imo, and Martin's not old enough. Not to mention Kiaane's not really one to care about someone giving them the Victorian-equivalent-of-a-middle-finger))