GGaD » HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

GalaxianExplosion · February 1, 2021 16:50:49

Raez: I’ll buy lunch for whomever can make Wiley sleep first.
Malaika, holding a frying pan: Where is he?

GalaxianExplosion · February 3, 2021 13:40:00

Lawyer: Mr. Perrault, I'd like to start off by thanking you for being in court today. You look very nice.
Wiley: Thank you. I'd return the compliment if I weren't under oath

-

Lawyer: Alright, Mr. Perrault, all your answers from now on will be oral. Where were you at the time of the incident?
Wiley: oral

SpecterTheGreat · February 3, 2021 16:59:50

Malaika: I'm really into dark humor.
Specter, turning off the lights: Do you want to hear a joke?

GalaxianExplosion · February 4, 2021 12:24:15

Rai: How much did you spend on this...this outing?
Wiley: $1,400. But all of it’s on credit cards, so it’s, like, $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

GalaxianExplosion · February 4, 2021 12:25:52

Hitan: Sollux, why are you late?
Sollux: My power went out last night and my alarm didn’t go off.
Sunny: Your alarm is power dependent? You brought this on yourself, fool.

GalaxianExplosion · February 4, 2021 12:27:53

Galaxian: So we have good news, and we have bad news.
Wiley: My mom always said, “Bad news first because, the good news is probably a lie.”
Wiley: Fun fact: She made me cry a lot.

GalaxianExplosion · February 4, 2021 13:44:40

Alma: What's the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?
Malaika: Raise the dead.
Alma: And what did you do?
Malaika: ...raise the dead.

GalaxianExplosion · February 4, 2021 13:45:39

Raez: Hey, Mr. Buttons!
Raez: I mean, my old calculator. It doesn't actually have a name.

GalaxianExplosion · February 4, 2021 13:48:49

Raez: I am a father.
Rai: Mittens is a cat, Raez.
Raez: SHE IS MY BLOOD!

(Raez has a cat in this canon )

GalaxianExplosion · February 4, 2021 13:51:12

Sunny: Since I can't reverse evolution and speak in your language, I'll keep this brief.

GalaxianExplosion · February 4, 2021 13:54:10

Wiley: Here, Malaika. Merry Christmas.
Malaika, unwrapping the gift: …Oh! A hair dryer!
Malaika, being genuinely appreciative: Thanks, Wiley! Ever since I lost my hair dryer, I’ve been meaning to…
Malaika: [examining the hair dryer more closely]
Wiley:
Malaika: …Wait a second…This IS my hair dryer.

GalaxianExplosion · February 4, 2021 13:58:52

Sunny: What good would she have been? She's useless in a hospital.
Sunny: I recall this one time she cried and cried.
Sunny: I mean, she was wailing. It was awful.
Sollux: He's referring to my birth.

GalaxianExplosion · February 4, 2021 20:34:32

Galaxian: Would you two stop fighting?!
Sunny: We are not fighting. We are having a creative discussion.
Sollux: We are too fighting.
Sunny: Creative discussion!
Sollux: FIGHT!
Sunny: DISCUSSION!
Galaxian: I can't believe you’re fighting about whether or not you’re having a fight!

GalaxianExplosion · February 5, 2021 00:47:21

Malaika: This may be a little off topic, but how good are you at digging holes?
Wiley: What are you-
Malaika: I mean, other than the one you already dug yourself into.

GalaxianExplosion · February 5, 2021 00:57:27

Rai: …Your password is burgers1?
Shouhei: It used to be just burgers, but now they make you add a number.

GalaxianExplosion · February 5, 2021 01:06:05

Hitan: Where in the world did Miss. Malaika go?
Wiley: It is raining outside, sir. Perhaps she melted.

GalaxianExplosion · February 17, 2021 02:48:53

(On the first day of classes)
Raez: Well, I guess we have to do icebreakers. I'm Raez, and I fear bears. Why do I fear bears? Well, because bears can run at thirty miles an hour and the zoo is thirty miles from here. That means a bear can be outside this door in an hour. Why would a bear be here? Because bears can smell fear and I fear bears.

GalaxianExplosion · February 17, 2021 03:09:41

Malaika: Roses are red, violets are blue
Malaika: Wiley I. Perrault should be locked up in the zoo

GalaxianExplosion · February 17, 2021 03:13:54

(This is a bit too mean to be Sunny but, like, eh. I'm not gonna 黑 someone else's characters lol. So he takes the brunt.)
Sunny: Ahh, it’s fall. everything is falling.
Sunny: The leaves.
Sunny: My patience.
Sunny: Sollux. [Proceeds to push Sollux down the stairs]

GalaxianExplosion · February 17, 2021 03:18:42

Iollan: How did you guys get kicked out of a movie theater?
Apollo, who was probably in charge of chaperoning this field trip lol poor guy: Wiley kept yelling out diving scores as people jumped off the Titanic.
Wiley: That last guy had a solid eight, let me tell you.

GalaxianExplosion · February 17, 2021 03:27:47

Wiley, rolling down the car window: What seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: Get the (BLEEP) out of my car.

SpecterTheGreat · February 17, 2021 08:32:26

GalaxianExplosion wrote:
Iollan: How did you guys get kicked out of a movie theater?
Apollo, who was probably in charge of chaperoning this field trip lol poor guy: Wiley kept yelling out diving scores as people jumped off the Titanic.
Wiley: That last guy had a solid eight, let me tell you.

This one has to be one of the funniest IQs I've seen in my life xD aklsdfjdñklgjjfgkl

GalaxianExplosion · February 17, 2021 18:17:23

Ok so y'all know how GGaD!Helen isn't very fond of GGaD!Rai?
Headcanon that in HPA she also doesn't like him because he's the one who gets the doors unlocked and passwords (for accessing the food,,, yes, the food) stolen every time
And yes I'm dead set on her being a cafeteria lady even though I haven't asked Rune about this at all lol

-Galaxian-

SpecterTheGreat · February 17, 2021 21:29:10

Cafeteria lady that eats all the pickles xD
There's just either a shortage of pickles or just straight out nothing of those for lunch xD

GalaxianExplosion · February 17, 2021 21:30:43

Yeah tbh she's one to speak when she's the one responsible for there being no napkin supply in the cafeteria either

-Galaxian-

SpecterTheGreat · February 17, 2021 21:31:31

Pickle-napkin sandwich

GalaxianExplosion · February 17, 2021 21:34:32

HPA is gonna be another world where I wonder about Hitan and his romantic preferences I see

-Galaxian-

Echowo · February 17, 2021 23:47:26

Apollo: Hey, I need your Zodiac signs

Hitan and Helen: Why?

Apollo, nervous sweating because he wants to see if they are compatible: N-no real big reason

GalaxianExplosion · February 18, 2021 03:06:37

(Playing a board game)
Wiley: I will destroy everything that you love!
Raez: You are one of the people I love
Wiley: Joke's on you, I've been self-destructive ever since I was 6 months old

~

GalaxianExplosion · February 18, 2021 03:08:01

Rai: We're supposed to be a team. What happened?
Dion: (*complaining about everything to nobody*)
Adrik: (*pacing back and forth while murmuring what sounds like gibberish*)
Galaxian: (*curled up in the corner and has been there for 4 hours and counting*)
Malaika: (*punching mannequin like it's a punching bag*)
Wiley: (*possibly dead, we don't know for sure without a status check*)
Nivia/Echo: (*crying and shoveling cereal into mouth*)