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He doesn't have a reason to steal from the cabinet,,, I see what you mean tho xD
-Galaxian-
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XD
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Btw, MJ responded to your thread with her on the wiki.
-Galaxian-
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Yeah, I saw it, but thanks for telling me
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Knew I shouldn't have said anything lol
-Galaxian-
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It's fine : )
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Hewwo uwu
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Hey
-Galaxian-
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Pretending like you didn't just vanish for more than two weeks
Hello, I was wondering if you wanted to POV Kokumajutsu again, I had a RPing idea
-Galaxian-
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GalaxianExplosion wrote:
Mostly talking with Specter while staring at how you reply to that thread but not this one and wondering if I should delete this one because I'm petty like that
It's been almost a year since that message was made as of May 2020, and I'm still the same petty child. Haven't grown up since I started talking with you around 2 years back. Maybe I've become worse, but I'm still the same kid and I like to speak my thoughts instead of cooping them up. Here I go.
Well, the good thing is that, like back then, I won't delete the thread. Too many memories, and a good reference to look back to. But pettiness is pettiness, and I think you said before that how we talk nowadays is nothing like how we talked back then. I do agree with that. It's unfortunate and I spend too much time thinking about it. Overthinking it, that is.
Actually, in terms of that, it's not really anyone's fault. You're busy. You'll always be busy. It's been 2 years and I'm now at the grade you were when we first met. You were 15 back then, a would-be sophomore, and now I'm a sophomore. The reflection is there, and I can't speak for you, but I'm personally still the little kid from back then. Petty. Annoying. Clingy. Anxious. Excited, easily disappointed. By closing this thread, I don't think it'll make a difference for you, which is what I want, but I think it'll make a difference for me, at least for a while.
Thanks for all the time you spent roleplaying with me in the past. It was really fun. You were my closest friend on the WoFMB and I enjoyed every moment of what we did together, even the angstier parts, the more annoying parts. I rant about them, but I have no doubt I've had those moments too, more than enough, actually, to balance everything from your part out.
Do you remember when I'd made some ridiculous speech on Discord, waiting for you to come back to the forums and return to the "before"? I knew it was naive, but still I clung to that hope. Now every time you come on I'm slapped in the face with my own naivety because I know it won't come true. You'll have a job, and you might not even really remember who I was. Maybe you just remember how moody I've been on this entire thread this past year and more. I deserve it on many levels, but it's not really something I want to be remembered by. In some way, this message is a continuation of that speech, probably once again not something I can fully enact, but at least I attempted.
That's the gist of it. I don't know what else to say. I've been holding this in a long time, and every time you do remember to post here, which is definitely more than I seem to be giving you credit for here, it's a tiny bit of hope to the stupid speech I made back then. But I'm a pessimistic realist, and until I see the hope I can see actually means something, I'd like to stop myself from thinking like that. Until you can truly, actually return, I'd like to stop thinking that you will.
I still hope you return someday, and if there's ever stuff you need to rant, you can still feel free to message me via PMs. You probably won't, though, and it's probably good for me to be even farther from a last resort. I'm not a good alternative at all for listening.
I'll probably keep roleplaying on the thread we have in CC for as long as I can as well. I don't like leaving things unfinished and undone. It might take me a while, though, because I have almost no motivation while I'm schooling. It should hopefully not be an issue, and if you want it dropped, then just stop responding, and I'll see you online/posting elsewhere and I'll put two and two together.
Nothing is coherent here, but that's about it. I hope you stay safe and happy and that you find success in life. And maybe see you around.
-Galaxian-
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Hello,
This post is made in response to your private message. I know that its length is likely unwarranted, but you know me–I did not think that a short response would incorporate what is needed to be said (in my view), so I will try to be as concise as possible to avoid all the unnecessary (and potentially hurtful) components in this post. Also, as you may or may not remember or know, Boardhost PMs have a word limit, while posts do not. So, you could say that this is also an attempt to avoid some memories associated with private messages on this sort of forum. Overall, I do apologize for the late response; I was very tired when I came across your message, and I needed some time to think before I sent a response to you.
That said, here I go.
First off, I wanted to thank you for bothering to return. As I have mentioned in the past, I view it as a testament to the time spent on the forums by all of us, and that itself is of immense value to me. I know that the people you see here are undoubtedly changed in ways that we do not realize and appreciate completely, and you too are likely a much more different individual than I/we remember. I hope that the changes on both sides will not serve as a divider between us as a group of forumers; I personally find them interesting to spectate when I chance upon them. For your end, from what I have gathered thus far, I see that you have followed the plans that you mentioned a few years back, and I am glad that you are happy in whatever job you are pursuing. I hope that health-wise there have been improvements as well, and overall I wish you nothing but the best, no matter whether you decide to stay for real this time or decide to take another hiatus of any length.
However. As you may or may not already know, I have a strict, perhaps naive view of online friendships/friendships in general that is both contrary to the views of many others and incredibly important to me. It is because of that arbitrary standard that I seem to repeatedly come into conflict with others, and one such instance of conflict was with Rune. I am not sure if she told you her perspective of what happened, and if she did, how she described it. Don’t worry about it either way. But the gist is that over the years, I think that we forumers have mostly divided ourselves into groups depending on our circumstances and on our individual viewpoints relating to our online relationships. I also think that, ironically, this has held true throughout the years. Rune and I likely had very different perspectives, regrettably resulting in our current relationship (or lack thereof). And although I considered you a very good friend and was hopefully also considered one by you, what I said in the past still pertains. We have our differences when it comes to the maintenance of friendships, the significance of roleplaying, and the meaning of characters. Maybe if I were someone different, with different things to prioritize, they would not be as significant as they are. But for me, the ever-cautious and emotionally sensitive me, that is unfortunately not the case.
As of this point in time, although I appreciate your offer, I do not wish to reach out to you and act as if there was not a three to four year gap between our last significant interactions. Because that just isn’t what reality is. By now, my recollection of our friendship consists of memories from years ago, my hopes that you would return by age 18, and many instances of seeing you active on Discord. Clinging to those memories, I kept dreaming (sometimes literally, especially as of recent) of you two returning, closing all the gaps between us and returning to how we were four years ago. But it has been almost a year since your last post here and elsewhere, and I still believe that I have been right every time I forced those thoughts back down. They were unrealistic, existed only to comfort myself, and remain both of those things in the present day. By now, I am content to continue occasionally observing you from afar; and I think by now, you too must be accustomed to doing such, or not doing anything of the sort at all.
I will close this thread after making this post because I do not think it really warrants a response from you. I think that at the end of the day, all of this is just the same as what I have conveyed to you in the past, just regurgitated and somehow lengthened further. However, I did want to emphasize again my appreciation for you returning, because I am sure you had to exercise a good amount of courage to overcome any self-doubts and fear of awkwardness in the process. Also, as they say, better late than never. I do hope that you stay and see the merit in this community, however small and sometimes inactive it can be. Nevertheless, if you choose not to truly return, then in advance I wish you the best of health and luck in what you do in your life. Whether or not I see you around, thank you again for the memories, and stay safe.
-Galaxian-