hdgsfhsgf ok so due to a sudden spike in my anxiety level I will probably be a bit less active. Hopefully I'll be back to normal in a few days but we'll see lmao

normal characters are usually a breath of fresh air.

art hard .-.

Ah yes mood
Good luck though, expressions are hardddd.

lmao what even is gender

I'm like unreasonably scared of my mom. I've literally been wasting time on the internet for the past two hours just so I can avoid telling her I'm done with my work so I can get my ipad to finally draw. Why am I even scared of her

My bilingual brain hates me for playing genshin with english subtitles but the chinese voice pack

I miss ice skating.. and swimming... and running just a bit

What part of bread are you allergic to

I assume running as a sport? How was it for you?

I don't think I care too much about my gender but... at the same time I don't want to feel so lost. So much of our society is based on gender, whether it's noticeable or not, and as someone who still doesn't quite understand what my gender is, it can often feel sorta... like I don't belong? That I'm so very different from everyone else, that like I don't have a place here. And I know it's ok to not be placed in a category or give myself a label but.. everyone else seems to know so why don't I know, is there something wrong with me? Am I just a confused cis trying to fit in? But I don't feel like a girl, at least not now, nor do I feel like a boy. Somedays I wake up and I know "ok I am a girl" or "I am a boy" but most days it's this stupid in-between limbo thingy and I don't care, I really don't, but everyone else seems to care so I care too. aghhhhhhh gender identity is giving me a headache .-.

ahfgshfg we have to write an essay on whether or not love at first sight is real and like... *laughs in somewhere on the arospec*

// rant/vent



Mom askes me why I think I'm genderfluid. She's skeptical, telling me she's never "seen any signs," that I might be just confused. That perhaps she should've pushed me to be more feminine, pushed me to wear more dresses and paint my nails, made me go on shopping sprees and do more "girly things."

I tell her that she sounds like she knows me better than I know myself.

We've never discussed my gender ever again but I can see it in her eyes. On the days I wake up and decide to wear a dress I can see the clear message in her eyes, telling me she still thinks she's right. Somedays that look is enough to make my already messed up brain gaslight myself. I tell myself I'm making it all up, that my very obvious queerness and my very real discomfort with feminine things on some days are all lies. It tells me I'm just faking everything for clout (which I don't even have).

Every time I do something even remotely "feminine" mom looks like she just received a small victory of some kind. She never talks about my queerness and I never bring it up, and part of me thinks this is worse than before I came out. This being, having already came out and basically getting ignored like I never said anything. She say she doesn't care but I think what she really meant was "I don't want to think about this so I can keep pretending my kid is normal" and I don't know if that's better or worse.

I want to get a suit, almost asked my mom if I can get one yesterday but I didn't because I'm a coward. "I'm not a coward, I'm just a passive person" I say, a blatant lie. I am a coward who's scared every little thing I do will end up mildly inconveniencing someone which will make me a complete jerk. It was one of the few things I remember mom directly telling me when I was a kid, to be considerate and put other people's needs first and one day karma will repay you with good fortune. Perhaps karma's not real but I will still put everyone else's comfort before mine because it's a habit at this point. Cod I hate myself so much, why am I like this. Honestly idek what the point of this rant was, sometime you just gotta... write it all down I suppose, let it out or something like that, idk healthy coping mechanisms aren't really my thing lmao

I'm in love with this cover holy mother of pineapples, I get chills listening to this

ok so... I'm thinking, what's the most DRAMATIC entrance I can make in the rp, the most on brand dramatic entrance for a deity with a god complex and I'm wondering...how are yall feeling bout just one huge party where every single deity is being invited? Also approximately how much food do I need to prepare for the party bc I have never thrown a party before and have absolutely no reference whatsoever