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November 10, 2020 01:44:16  #1


HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Sunny and Sollux, forced to walk together for graduation:
Sollux, under her breathWow, you're cheery.
Sunny, while clapping her on the backMe? I'm always like this.
Sollux, making sure her clothing is in line: Oh yeah. Suuure.
Sunny, whispering: You're certainly not going to be.
Sollux: When can I see you walk away?
Sunny: You're bad company. (*waves to the audience, probably specifically to their family*)
Sollux, under her breath while grinning widely: I can't wait.
Sunny: (*laughs awkwardly*) (*then, under his breath:*) You suck. 

Germaine, to Wiley: Are you wearing a big-boy shirt?
Wiley, who's wearing a tie: Yeah , I probably never will again. 

Sunny, hugging family member #1: I like your nail polish, but not too much.
Sunny, hugging Sollux: Now I pretend I like you, but I hate you...inside.


The unlikely
and the unimaginable

have indeed
transpired quite regularly
 

November 10, 2020 11:51:42  #2


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Sollux: Yeah, I looked both ways before crossing the street!
Sollux: I looked both gorgeous and radiant!
Sollux: Too bad I got hit by that car.

Francis: I read that with every degree of temperature rise, violence increases by 20%.
Wiley: Fight crime by reducing Earth's temperature to zero Kelvin.
Galaxian: Time stops at zero Kelvin.
Wiley: CRIME stops at zero Kelvin.


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

November 10, 2020 14:25:22  #3


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

November 11, 2020 16:46:48  #4


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Wiley: If no one will GIVE me a tragic backstory, I will create my own!!
Narrator: ...put the knife down.

Apollo: I have a box. We are going to put everything we love into the box.
Alma: Can I put Echo into the box?
Apollo: No.
Alma: Can I put Galaxian into the box?
Apollo: No.
Alma: Can I put Francis and Ka--
Apollo: WE ARE NOT PUTTING ANYONE INTO THE BOX.

Malaika: Wiley, don't talk out loud, you lower the I.Q. of the entire school.

Rai: They send in two turkeys. The most photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a life at a children's zoo. The runner-up gets eaten.
Wiley: If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.

Hitan: What do you guys want for Christmas?
Rai: I dunno, financial security?
Alma: I don't know. A sense of purpose maybe?
Yvonne: A nap would be nice

Wiley: When crows remember who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "pretty cool", but when I do it it's "petty" and "you need to move on"
 


The unlikely
and the unimaginable

have indeed
transpired quite regularly
     Thread Starter
 

November 11, 2020 16:50:57  #5


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Calix: I haven't seen Hitan all day. Does anyone know where he is?
Iollan: Nope.
Germaine: No, but I bet I can find him.
Germaine: DOES ANYONE WANT TO GO WITH ME TO THE BOOKSTORE?
Hitan: I do.
Apollo, nearly falling over in a panic: When did you get here?!
Hitan: Just now. I was summoned.

Sollux: How do I look?
Sunny: With your eyes.
Sollux: No, I mean, fantastic, great, fabulous, etc.
Sunny: Etc.

Yvonne: sorry I overslept
Hitan: It's… 4:30 P.M.

Malaika: Tell Silence off, Echo! Assert yourself!
Echo: That’s my ice cream!
Malaika: Great, now let 'em have it!
Echo:  You can have it!


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

November 11, 2020 16:54:49  #6


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Galaxian: Hey guys, how's the bonding going?
Sunny: You sicken me.
Sollux: You're the worst!!
Sunny: I hope you go bald.
Sollux: I hope you disappear!
Sunny: I hope Hot Topic goes bankrupt!
Sollux: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Rai: Silence just said they "want to do something nice for" me. 
Francis: (*sighs*) I'll go warn the others.

Calix: Okay, kids, we're going to be working with volatile chemicals today. Except for you, Wiley, since the school board has rated you a class four maniac.
 


The unlikely
and the unimaginable

have indeed
transpired quite regularly
     Thread Starter
 

November 11, 2020 16:59:11  #7


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

[After graduation]
Sollux: Favorite high school memory?
Sunny: Leaving.

Calix:  I'm your teacher and from now on you will refer to me as such.
Wiley:  Okay, Such.

Adrik: Why are you so nice to everyone?
Yvonne: it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown,,,
Adrik: So you’re just lazy?


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

November 11, 2020 17:18:57  #8


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Malaika: I thought Wiley reached his stupidity quota for today.
Rai: Pfft, no, it's too early.

Wiley: The worst thing about parallel parking is the witness
Rai: No witnesses if you’re bad enough at parallel parking

*texting*
Raez: CHICKEN
Wiley: Bgawk
Raez: I’ve never seen that typed
Raez: And frankly I’m upset that you did that

Wiley: *swirls chocolate milk in a wine glass* I’m just over it, you know?

Wiley: Mum asked “if your friends jumped off a cliff would you?” Mum I’m the one with the idea, you raised a leader, not a follower

Wiley: I remember the first time I asked my mom to sign something for me in high school
Wiley: She shook her head and said, "If I sign this, you're going to have to learn how to forge your signature. If you sign it from the start, you'll be able to sign whatever you want and no one will know."


The unlikely
and the unimaginable

have indeed
transpired quite regularly
     Thread Starter
 

November 11, 2020 17:26:13  #9


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

I am intrigued about Wiley's mother,,,


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

November 11, 2020 18:10:12  #10


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Well she obviously played in part of constructing what we know as Wiley vibes

-Galaxian-


The unlikely
and the unimaginable

have indeed
transpired quite regularly
     Thread Starter
 

November 11, 2020 20:59:24  #11


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Silence: "Yea, I like to eat chicken raw and frozen."

Allen, looking disgusted and getting a frying pan out:  "You're not eating that raw while I'm here."

Silence, trying to quickly shove frozen chicken in their mouth: "I DON'T FEAR GOD."

Allen, trying to take the chicken away: "YOU'LL LEARN TO."


Echo
he/him xe/xem
Ultimate Simp
lil angst gumdrop
“If he be Mr. Hyde,” he had thought, “I shall be Mr. Seek.”
 

November 11, 2020 21:10:10  #12


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Malaika: "This was an 100% successful trip!"

Rai: "We lost Wiley."

Malaika: "This was an 100% successful trip!"


Echo
he/him xe/xem
Ultimate Simp
lil angst gumdrop
“If he be Mr. Hyde,” he had thought, “I shall be Mr. Seek.”
 

November 12, 2020 14:43:22  #13


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Malaika: Can you pass me the pepper!
Rai: What's the magic word?
Malaika: *begins to chant in Latin*

Specter: Do you have spirit?
Galaxian: Yeah!
Galaxian: Do YOU have spirit?
Specter: I have spirits.
Galaxian: Huh?
Specter: *possessed*


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

November 12, 2020 15:37:18  #14


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Class: *on a bus for a field trip*

Wiley, loudly: "Did you know that even with seatbelts people die all the time in car crashes? I thought that was interesting."

Everyone,  now very uncomfortable:


Echo
he/him xe/xem
Ultimate Simp
lil angst gumdrop
“If he be Mr. Hyde,” he had thought, “I shall be Mr. Seek.”
 

November 12, 2020 16:16:11  #15


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Silence: I have a plan
Rai: And I have the hospital on speed dial

Apollo: Do you have anything else to say to me?
Callix: I do not.
Apollo: Okay well your horoscope said that you’re keeping secrets so like I don’t want to call you a liar but the stars don’t lie.

Wiley: I want to change the world
Raez: For the better???
Wiley:
Raez: Answer the question!

Sollux: Beauty is in the eye of whoever looks at me.

Hitan: We both look really great tonight
Germaine: You know, if you’d just said that I looked great, I would have said “So do you”
Hitan: I couldn’t take that chance

Wiley: Don't underestimate us. Our group motto is "Maybe we'll get lucky this time."

Wiley: Relax, just talk about nerd stuff like you always do
Raez: Actually, “nerd stuff” is kind of mainstream now so when you use it in a derogatory manner it doesn’t really work
Wiley: Exactly, just like that!

Germaine: You promised you wouldn’t!
Silence: No, you ordered us not to
Wiley: There’s a distinct difference

Francis: Wiley, is it true that you spent three days in the boot of Rai’s car waiting to scare him?
Wiley: no
Raez: It was five

Wiley: Okay, I got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood
Raez: Wow… where’d you find 12 gallons of fake blood?
Wiley: … you wanted fake blood?

Galaxian, telling a riddle: What is something that is considered punishment as a child but a reward as an adult?
Sunny: Death

Francis: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3 A.M. to look at the stars!
Sunny: If anyone, and I do mean anyone, wakes me up at 3 AM to look at the darn sky, they will be removed indefinitely from my life.


The unlikely
and the unimaginable

have indeed
transpired quite regularly
     Thread Starter
 

November 12, 2020 16:41:51  #16


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Silence: "Imagine Shakespeare quotes but, like, add bruh at the end of them!"

Wiley: What is done is done, bruh."

Silence: "Now is the winter of our discontent, bruh."

Wiley: "To be, or to not be, bruh."

Silence: "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo! Deny thy father and refuse they name, bruh!"

Alma, having a stroke:


Echo
he/him xe/xem
Ultimate Simp
lil angst gumdrop
“If he be Mr. Hyde,” he had thought, “I shall be Mr. Seek.”
 

November 12, 2020 17:02:57  #17


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

(Thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows, bruh.
You Banbury cheese, bruh)


The unlikely
and the unimaginable

have indeed
transpired quite regularly
     Thread Starter
 

November 12, 2020 17:16:07  #18


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

(Alma is TREMBLING in FEAR)


Echo
he/him xe/xem
Ultimate Simp
lil angst gumdrop
“If he be Mr. Hyde,” he had thought, “I shall be Mr. Seek.”
 

November 12, 2020 17:24:30  #19


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

(Love all, trust a few, do harm to none, bruh.
To thine own self be true, bruh.
Hell is empty and all the devils are here, bruh.
Though she be but little, she is fierce, bruh!
The course of true love never did run smooth, bruh.
Lord, what fools these mortals be, bruh!)


The unlikely
and the unimaginable

have indeed
transpired quite regularly
     Thread Starter
 

November 12, 2020 17:26:21  #20


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Sollux: My intelligence has doubled after I started attending HPA!
Sunny: Of course. 2 x 0 = 0

Wiley, jumping onto a table: Whomst’d’ve consumed my ice juice?
Silence, t-posing on a chair: It is I who hath consumed thy O C E A N S A U C E

Wiley: You could answer almost anything with “not since the accident”.
Rai: Actually, you can’t.
Wiley: Not since the accident.


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

November 12, 2020 17:40:31  #21


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

(Isn't it kinda weird how Silence kinda talks in Victorian English in these I.Q.s yet doesn't know how to read)


The unlikely
and the unimaginable

have indeed
transpired quite regularly
     Thread Starter
 

November 12, 2020 17:45:51  #22


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

(Maybe they picked the lines up from the movies they've been in. Tbh that probably implies a really good memory, as they wouldn't be able to read the script)


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

November 12, 2020 17:51:58  #23


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

(Oh yea, I was headcanoning earlier in my mind that they have a really awesome memory due to their lack of being able to read and write, and that they can basically memorize anything if a person says it at least once and clear enough for them to understand) 


Echo
he/him xe/xem
Ultimate Simp
lil angst gumdrop
“If he be Mr. Hyde,” he had thought, “I shall be Mr. Seek.”
 

November 26, 2020 19:58:40  #24


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Bruh HC that HPA!Alma goes through a break-up because his girlfriend cheated on him and for the next whole week he is constantly listening to "Burn" from Hamilton and whenever someone talks to him he sobs about romance and his friends have to buy new eyeliner for him because he kept crying so much and reapplying eyeliner that he ran out of eyeliner and cried even more 

Also during that time someone walks into the empty classroom he's moping in because "Burn" is blaring very loudly and Alma can be heard singing along with it so emotionally that people actually start getting worried for his sanity and all they see is him laying on his back, staring at the ceiling with multiple speakers around him blaring the music, eyeliner going down his face dramatically as he is singing his heart out lol 


 


Echo
he/him xe/xem
Ultimate Simp
lil angst gumdrop
“If he be Mr. Hyde,” he had thought, “I shall be Mr. Seek.”
 

November 26, 2020 20:03:34  #25


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

I read "Burn" as "Bruh"


RUSSET
 

November 26, 2020 20:59:38  #26


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

b r u h


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

December 5, 2020 11:54:35  #27


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

When HPA!Adrik sings, his voice is highly autotuned, kinda like how his crying is autotuned, except it sounds more human than then the crying voice file


Echo
he/him xe/xem
Ultimate Simp
lil angst gumdrop
“If he be Mr. Hyde,” he had thought, “I shall be Mr. Seek.”
 

December 9, 2020 11:49:36  #28


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Calix: If you have any questions, just ask.
Silence: If a bear and a dragon had a fight, who would win?
Calix: 
Calix:
If you have any relevant questions, just ask.
Wiley: No, I think this merits discussion.


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

December 9, 2020 11:58:03  #29


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Germaine: Happy? Get a plant!
Germaine: Sad? Get a plant!
Sunny: Sick of people? Get a large carnivorous plant and place it next to your door.


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

December 9, 2020 12:05:51  #30


Re: HPA AU Headcanons, Planning, IQs, and Shenanigans

Malaika: I am a moderate, peaceful, and godly person.
Rai: You threw a chair at Wiley three minutes ago.
Malaika: Yes. It was a moderate, peaceful, and godly compromise from the table I was originally planning to throw at that bastard.


Specter
Hakjfbjehsbjdf
jdfkdbjfskbksja
Kabksjfbslfkgghñ
pjytlñhfñksfjgnm dfmghkdhldk
 

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